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Old Oct 9 2011, 09:57 PM   #1
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Default Madison's story

This is a story I am working on for my niece Madison. She is 6 years old. She is reading at a 3rd grade leavel. What do you think? I think I fixed most of the misstakes.

Six year old Madison was walking through the woods between her great grandma's, Gee Gee, house and her neighbors house. The woods were very small. She could see both house from the middle of the woods. She was playing in the woods because her three year old sister, Emmi and almost two year old brother were taking naps. That meant Madison had to be quite inside. She could not play in the front of the house because Aunt Shelly had tied the goat, Aries up in the front yard. Madison was scared of Aries, he had very hard horns and liked to head butt people. So Madison was playing in the woods.

Madison saw a place where two trees had branches that over lapped making it look like a tunnel of pine tree branches. Madison started to go through the tunnel. It got narrower and shorter. Soon she had to bend over. Madison was starting to get scared. The tunnel was a lot longer the she thought it would be. It was too narrow to turn around in, she kept going. Finally the tunnel ended and she was able to stand up.

When Madison looked around nothing looked right. She did not see any pine needles. All the trees had large leaves. She walked around the tree that the branches grew from. She was really scared now.

"Tammy! Shelly!" She yelled as loud as she could. Hoping her aunts would hear her.

There was no answer. "Jazzy! Ebony!" She yelled hoping the dogs would hear her and come running or at least bark.

She stood as still as she could straining to hear anything. There was no answering bark. She did not hear Aries, who always yelled when someone was outside. She could not even hear any of the cats.

Madison walked around the tree again looking for the tunnel she had came through. she could not find it. She did see a small path. She decided to fallow the path. It had to lead some where.

She had not gone far when she heard something crashing through the woods. At first she thought it was one of the dogs or a cat. None of them were big enough to make that kind of noise. Madison started crying and running. Suddenly a large white horse stepped on to the path in front of Madison. Madison screamed.

"I am sorry to scare you." The horse said.

Madison looked at the horse and realized it was not a horse. It looked like a horse only it had a golden spiral horn coming out of its forehead.

"What are you?" Madison asked.

"I am a unicorn. My name is Ivory. What are you doing here?"

Madison told him about the tunnel. She started crying. "I can't find the tunnel again."

"You are from Earth's realm. You have to get the tunnel to open up for you again."

"How can I do that?" Madison asked spiffily.

"If you tell me your name I will help you." Ivory told her.

Madison told him her name as Ivory lead her back to the tree. When the got to the tree Ivory showed her three holes in the tree.

"You have to travel to the great falls and find things that will fit into the holes. I can help you get there, but, you must decide what to bring back. Look at the holes carefully."

Madison looked at the holes very carefully. She even held her hand up to the holes so she would know what size the holes were. The first hole was the shape of a five point star, about the size of her palm.

The second hole was shaped like the wings on some of the fairies her cousin, Jennifer, collected. It was as wide as the thumb to her pinky with her fingers spread out as far as she could make them.

The last hole was a feather shape hole. It was much longer than it was wide. It was as long as from the tip of her of her longest finger to her wrist. It was only as wide as two of her fingers held together.

When Madison was done examining the hole she asked Ivory how far the Great Falls were. He told her it would take one sun to get there and one sun to get back.

"I can't be gone that long. Mommy will be here soon to pick up me, Emmi and Seth."

"As long as we are back before the sun sets for the third time you will return to the time you left."

Ivory lead her back up the path. They had been walking for about an hour when they came to a fast moving stream. Ivory bent his head down to drink. He took a long drink, before he noticed that Madison had not taken a drink.

"Madison, it is a long way until we get to another stream. You should take a drink." Ivory said.

"Mommy says not to drink water from a stream, water may not be clean and can make me sick." Madison explained.

"On you world you mother is correct. Here the water is clean and will not make you sick." Ivory reassured her.

Madison was happy to hear this. She was very thirsty. She crouched down, using her hands as a cup she drank until she was no longer thirsty.

Ivory had no problem crossing the stream. Madison was scared. The water was moving fast. She was scared she would fall. Ivory
kept yelling to her that she could do it. It was the only way to get to the falls. Finally Madison took a deep breath and stepped onto a rock. She carefully went on to the next rock. She was in the middle of the stream when the rock she stepped on rocked and her feet slipped off into the stream. She was very scared until she realized the water only came up to her knees. She giggle at her self and quickly finished crossing.

They had been walking for a couple of hours. Madison was getting very tired. She was now walking slowly. Ivory suggest they take a break. Madison went to the path's edge and flopped down on a rock. Ivory left Madison for a few minutes. When he came back she laughed at him. He had two apples speared onto his horn. He bent his head down so she could pluck them off. She gave one of the apples to him, while she ate the other one.

When they had finished the apples Ivory asked Madison if she would like to ride him. He could not carry her far, but, he could go a lot faster than she could. They needed to make it to the falls this sun so they would have time for Madison to find what she needed. He had not told Madison what would happen if they were not back before the sun set for the third time. If that happened she would not be able to open the tunnel and she would be stuck here forever.
When they got to a steep hill Madison had to get off and walk.

It was getting dark fast. "Madison, it is getting dark. We will not get to the falls this sun. It is not safe to travel after dark. Around the next bend is a cave we can sleep in."

Madison reluctantly agreed. She had never slept in a cave before. Ivory promised they would be safe. The cave even had a small pool of water in the back. Once again, after making Madison promise not to leave the cave, Ivory left Madison. This time he was gone much longer. Madison was starting to get scared again when he returned. This time when he came back he had four oranges on his horn. Madison ate two of them. Ivory ate the other two. When they were done eating Madison washed her hand in the small pool. She laid down with her head resting on Ivory's side. He was nice and warm. Soon she was asleep.

He woke her up just as the sun was coming up. She got a quick drink of water. They started up the trail again. The way was very steep. Madison hoped that meant they were getting closer. They were almost to the top when the came to a place where the path had been washed away.

Ivory looked closely at the path. It was not safe to cross. He left Madison to look for a safer way to go. He finally found a way, but it would take much longer. They had to hurry. Once again Madison rode Ivory. First he had back track to where they had spent the night. Next he had to go straight up the hill. He used every tree and rock he could to get footing. Finally he came to a very small trail. They fallowed the trail a long ways until it ended. Ivory had to go back down the hill. He slid down part of it on his rump. That hill ended at short way up the path from where they had left it. It had taken two and a half hours to travel a half mile. As soon as they were back on the path Ivory started running. He ran for about an hour before he had to stop. He was very tired. Madison was glad to climb off his back. Her legs hurt, and she was hungry. They only rest for a few minutes. They had to keep going. When the path ran next to a black berry patch they stopped long enough to pick and eat some. Both of them felt much better. It was well past noon when the came to the falls.

The Great Falls were well named. The water fell close to a hundred feet from top to bottom. The water was more foamy white then blue. The path they were on wound down next to a river. The crashing of the water made talking impossible.

"YOU NEED TO START LOOKING FOR WHAT YOU NEED!" Ivory had to yell over the noise of the crashing water.

Madison nodded her head to show she had heard. She bent down and started looking all over the ground. She also looked in the trees and in nock and crannies' made by the water. They were almost to the bottom of the falls before she found the fist item she needed. She found a feather sticking out from under a bush. Madison carefully put it in a pants pocket.

At the bottom of the falls there was a large sandy beach like area. Ivory stood with his gold hooves in the water. Madison sat next to him with her shoes and socks off and her feet in the water. The water felt very good to her tired feet.

She did not look for rest for long. She wanted to hurry up and get back to the tunnel. She missed her family. She went back to looking. She walked all along the sandy area at the water's edge. She flipped over rock and checked all the small pools. It was in a small pool that she found a wing. She picked it up and held her hand up to it. She remembered the wing was as wide as her thumb to pinky. This wing was too small. She kept looking. Ivory was very proud of Madison when she put the wing down. She had listened to him.

She finished looking next to the river and started looking on a bank when she found a second wing under a log. When she held the pink feather up to her hand it was as wide as her thumb to pinky with her fingers spread out. This was the right one.

Ivory did not let Madison know how worried he was getting. This was taking a lot longer then it normally did. Ivory had lead many boys and girls here. He had never had a problem getting any of them back on time. They had lost so much time from the path being washed away. He had broken the rules by allowing Madison to ride as long as he had. He had to make up the time. He watched as Madison kept looking. He wanted to help her, but, could not. If he helped she would not find the objects. He decided to find something to eat. They were both getting very hungry. He turned went farther down the trail until he found another apple tree. He used his horn to pick four of them and headed back to Madison.

He got back just as Madison was looking under a large bolder. She stood up when she saw him and shook her head. She sat down long enough to eat one of the apples. Madison had gone to the river to rinse off her hands when she saw a small shallow pool she had not looked in yet. She looked carefully under every rock. It was under the last rock that she found it. She found the a thin blue rock in the shape of a five pointed star. She looked at it closely, it was the size of her palm. It was the last item she needed. She gave a small yell and showed it to Ivory. She sat down long enough to eat her second apple before starting on the way back to the tunnel.

The path up the falls seemed much steeper to Madison, but, she did not slow down. Ivory was right behind her, making sure she did not falter. He urged her to go faster. He wanted to at least make it back to the cave from the night before. Madison knew she was short on time. She did not want to make anyone worry about where she was.
Once they got to the top of the falls Ivory took the lead. He lead her off the path down to a different trail. This trail would be harder to navigate, but, it avoided the washed out part.

Going down the hill was almost harder then going up. Madison had to grab hold of trees and lower herself down to the next one. Both of them used rocks and trees to keep from sliding. They stopped once at a small stream on the way down the hill. The sun was starting to set when the trail they were on came to the path they needed. Once on the path the going was faster. They found the cave again just as the sun was setting. Ivory once again left Madison. This time he brought back some plumbs.

"Ivory, what happens if we don't get back before the sun sets for the third time?" Madison asked.

"The tunnel will not open for you."

"Until when? Will I have to get more items?"

"No, Madison. It will never open for you. You will be here forever." Ivory told her "I will not let that happen. We will get you there before the sun sets tomorrow."

Madison did not say anything. She just laid her head on Ivory and went to sleep. She did not sleep very well. She kept dreaming that they made it back to late. The tunnel would not open. She woke up crying a couple of times.

Ivory did not need to wake her up at dawn the next morning. She was already awake. They had not gone far when it started to rain. Soon it was pouring down. They could not see very far. The path got very muddy quickly. Soon they were sliding as much as they were walking. They both had to be very careful so they would not fall. They needed to hurry, but, could not. The sky was too dark to tell what time it was. They had no idea how far they had to go or how long they had to get there. They did not stop to eat or drink.

They were almost to the bottom of the hill when Madison slipped in the mud and fell. She slid about twenty feet before she was able to stop herself.

"Madison, are you alright? Can you walk?" Ivory asked her.

Madison stood up. Her right knee hurt really bad. She took a step and almost fell again. "It hurts really bad." She cried.

"Can you lean on me." Ivory asked.

Madison leaned on Ivory. Luckily they had reached the bottom of the hill. The way now was flat. Soon the sky cleared. The clear sky did not make them feel better. It was almost dark. The went faster.

Ivory knew the only way to make it back was by dark was to give Madison another ride. As soon as Madison was on his back he started to run as fast as he could with Madison on him. He knew he was breaking the rules. He knew he would be in trouble. He also knew that was the only was to get Madison home. He ran faster.
He slowed down to a walk when the crossed the stream. Now the water was much deeper and much faster. As soon as they were across he started running again.

They got back to the tree as the sun was starting to set. Madison got down pulling out the items.
"Put each item in the hole it is meant to go in." Ivory instructed.

Madison carefully pulled the items out of her pocket. She put the star in first. She had to move it around until it fit. Next she pulled out the feather. It went right in. Finally she pulled out the wing and place it in its hole. Madison saw a glow then saw the tunnel opening.

"Thank you Ivory. I'll never forget you." Madison said as she gave him a big hug.

Ivory reached up to the tree branches with his horn. When he brought it back down there was a gold feather, star and wing.

"Take these as a reminder of how brave you were. Now hurry" Ivory told her.

She ran into the tunnel just as the sun finished setting. She had to crouch down real low. She starting getting scared that she had not gotten back in time. Suddenly she was through the tunnel and was able to stand up.

She was relieved to find the sun shinning. She looked around and saw Gee Gee's house. She ran toward the house as she heard a car pull into the drive way. Her Mom was here to pick them all up.

Madison stopped for a moment thinking. She decided to keep all that happened to herself. She did not think anyone to believe her. Beside this was something that she did not want to share.

As soon as Madison disappeared into the tunnel Ivory sank down to the ground. He had spent too much of his energy. He would not be able to do much for several sun.
A second unicorn appeared next to him.

"Ivory, you broke the rules. You let her ride a lot longer than you should have. Do you have an explanation?"

Ivory held his head up tall "No explanation. I did what I had to do to get Madison home. I am sorry rules were broken. I had no choice, I would do it again."

There was a golden glow around the two unicorns as a third one appeared. This one was much larger than the other two. It seemed to have a gold glow around it. Both unicorns bowed deeply to the new one.

"Ivory, you broke rules that could get you into trouble. You put yourself in danger by running much farther and faster than you should have with a passenger." The unicorn said.

"Yes great one I did." Ivory said humbly.

"You did all it to make sure your charge got home safe. At the same time you made her do what she was afraid to do. That is what her journey was about. That is what we are suppose to do. Get our charges home and teach them. Which is what you did, despite many obstacles. I now name you of the guardian second degree."

Ivory looked up surprised, he had been working towards being second degree for most of his life.

That night when Madison took her pants off she felt in her pocket and pulled out a gold feather, star and a wing. She looked at them for a minute.

"It had been real." she whispered "good night Ivory."


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Old Oct 10 2011, 02:10 PM   #2
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Default Re: Madison's story

Cool world, Marwa. As long as Madison likes unicorns, I think she'll enjoy this
http://delarroz.com - Author updates and more!
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Old Oct 10 2011, 06:48 PM   #3
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Very sweet story. It would be cool to get someone to illustrate it.
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Old Oct 10 2011, 08:22 PM   #4
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I am going to use some photo I have of Madison, Maybe take a pic of the woods between our house and neighbors.


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