I think I sleep through the end of the world.

[Menderofillusions]

My last post, I was diving into the last books of Anne's that I have not read.
(please forgive spelling and grammer in this post... I'd make more since if I had spent the last week pissed at the pub.)
The B&B series and Black horses for the king...

I had read to the 4th chapter of ship who searched and all hell broke lose. Actually that is a blatant understatement... anyone in hell would have hid.

After a four week stent of relatives coming to visit...(first my brother, then my daughter, then mother in law, then a sister in law who I hadn't met yet)

Easter was lonely yet peaceful... 4/10/07 Then I get the call no mother wants to hear.
(this is the hospital...your daughter and her friends were in a terrible accident...everyone is ok, but your daughter was the worst...please drive safely to the hospital to learn more)

My daughter and 3 other high school seniors were in a head on collision.(6 blks from my home were they were headed) the driver of the other vehical got out and ran leaving the 4 bleeding girls on the highway.

MY daughter has a broken neck and back, a lacerated liver, bruised lung and a broken coller bone. She was in the front passanger seat.

after a week at the hospital our insurance ran out and she was sent home. (Not like I wasn't doing all her nurseing anyway! rant!)

On the day they were kicking her out my other daughter was 900 miles away having surgery on her kidneys... and in the middle of chaos my husbands grandfather died. (not much to most but, james was practically raised by his grandparents)


Ok... deep breath...only safe place to dissasemble...put the smile back on...straighten up... now...Go adjust your daughter.


thanks for listening to my rant... feel better now

[Cheryl]

Mender, how horrible! Any one of those events would be bad enough on its own, but to all come at you at once just seems cruel!

((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

[Sandi]

Mender, all of us who are mothers understand the horror you are suffering. Your family will be in my prayers.

[Menderofillusions]

Oh sorry... I forget the way that sounds... Her spinal cord is intact. She is not paralized. She is in incredibly good spirits. She and her friends will be attending the prom as crash test dummies. It is a masquerade theme this year.

The police know who the guy is yet have to approach him with caution. He has a rap sheet about 2 inches thick and it includes armed robbery and assult of a police officer. Saftey first. So any thoughts I had of rehabilitation for this guy are mute... he sounds pretty habitual. I pray this is the straw that breaks the camels back... in a good way.

I now feel that most of the sufferable events in my past, were mere strenghth exercises for this marathon of events. By the grace of God, just when I thought I would definately break, flashes of good happened.

I do not mean to down play the sorrow of events in Virginia... That just added to my WTF? week. I pray for strenghth for those affected by the massacare...and for all of us to be able to make since out of it.

[SuzyQ]

Oh girl!! What a week. I agree to the WTF! week of weeks. I am sorry that your daughter was injured and her friends. I hope you can catch a break really soon! Thank the heavens that her spinal cord was not damaged! If you need a shoulder that is what we are here for!

Tons of Hugs from one Mom to another! Take a deep breath, get something hot to drink and try to get a minute. Thank you for sharing with us so we can try and support you - even if it's from afar.

[granath]

What a relief to learn that your daughter's spinal cord is intact!

How did your other daughter's kidney surgery go?

How is your hubby coping with his bereavement?

Please keep us posted.

[Dragongirl]

:hugs:

[Emma-Jayde]

Mender

We'll be thinking of you.
It's good to hear that your daughter is in good spirits though. It's not easy to go through something like that.

Let us know how things are going

[Hans]

Good grief, I'll be thinking of you and your oved one, Mender. Seems that despite the cruelty, pain and sorrow you all had to suffer you have actually been "lucky"... sounds strange that but nevertheless.

[Mary]

I am so sorry about what happened to your daughter but what I find most amazing is your commet that your insurance ran out and you had to bring her home. I think something like that would be unheard of in Ireland. Yes we have some private hospitals but most of our hospitals are public, paid for by the government (and our taxes of course) and you stay in hospital until you are medically fit for discharge.

Any one of her injuries sounds terribly serious.

[edith]

Mender!

Tell your daughter that I hope she gets better soon!

What an awful week!

[ghyle]

((((((((((hugs)))))))))) Mender!

I wish you all the best, and I hope that both your daughter and yourself pull through. I wish I could do more to help you, but, well, you know how it is when I'm in another country, and virtually penniless.

Take care, and please, remember that when you need a sympathetic ear that I and others here are here for you.

[AnnMarie]

{{{{{{{{{{{{Meander and family and friends}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Good lords of light, woman! Have you gone completely grey yet? I have to admit, I'd probably be hunting the SOB who caused my child and her friends such pain. Nice to see they are in good spirits. WE WANT PROM PICTURES!!!
How's the other daughter doing?

[Lady Maelin]

Mender...my heart and good thoughts goes out to you....another Mother. I am so sorry that your family is hurting so badly on the inside as well as the outside.
I am with Mary though...I am shocked that the hospital tossed your daughter out in her condition...it is a good thing that her spinal cord is still intact..and that she will recover in time and fully. I will keep my good possitive thoughts headed out to you and your family.
Please keep us updated on your daughters recovery's

{{{{{HUG}}}}}

[Greenrider Tresa]

Meander, that's horrible. ((((((((())))))
I've lost one grandfather, which was bad enough on its own. Don't know if I could have taken several things happening all at once.

[Sandi]

Mender, do keep us informed on everyone's progress. You are our friend and we care about you and those you care about.

[Deb]

Oh my God! I cannot even begin to tell you how badly I feel for you! I think I have an idea of what you are experiancing.....

My niece shattered 2 of her lumbar vertebrae October 05, and it was touch and go with her life, then touch and go as to whether she would ever walk again. Thankfully everything has worked out excellently for her.....reconstruction of the vertebrae was preformed by a Toronto, Ontario trained doctor....in Quito, Ecuador!! (She had fallen off a cliff and was transported through the jungle by hand to the local "hospital" that gave her some aspirin before she was air-lifted out to Quito!!) These days she is composing the arguement she intends to have with her mother over her wish to play soccer again!!

So I can't say enough that I am so pleased for you that your daughter is well....and obviously in great humour considering her Prom plans!! I hope that your other daughter is healing well and that your husbands grief is eased quickly. Your family is in my thoughts.........take care of you and yours.

[mawra]

I am happy your daughter was not hurt any worse than she was. The medical care in this country can suck at time. The insurance companies get to make all the madical desions rather than the Drs. I hope that the person who hit them is made to pay, did he have car insurance if so than you maybe able to get helt there. Also no matter how old you are it HURTS to lose a grandparent. I lost my last grandmother 3 years ago and it still hurts, please tell your husband that I wish I could help him but unfortunately he is the only who can deal with his pain. Please give a hug for me tho. Hugs always help a little.

[P'ter]

[Ailsa_Elizabeth]

Mender, I just want to say that I absolutely feel your pain having been in several car accidents (none that serious though) and losing 3 of 4 grandparents at different times, any one of those events is enough to shatter you to the core.

Please accept my prayers and I hope that things start to change for the better though there will be a long and painful road ahead I am sure.

[Menderofillusions]

Wow... Thanks guys... I just needed to vent, but it feels real nice that someone cares. ok lets see if I can answer some of the questions.

#1. My oldest daughter 20, at camp pendelton CA,(military insurance) is doing well after having a quarter sized kidney stone lazer blasted. She has to wear an uncomfortable stent in her urethra for two weeks. (passing stone sediment) She is sore but very happy to have the stone gone, so she can get back to mothering my 1 and 3 year old granddaughters.

#2. Insurance... For those of you abroad: We have a government insurance called medicaid/medicare that is needed for 40% of the population at different times. This Insurance cost 86 million dollars a year more than Canada's entire Universal Health care plan. It is meant to only cover 2% of our population. Unfortunately even the middle class is having a hard time paying for insurance. ($180 per dependant a month or more ) My daughter 18 is in limbo. She's not covered as a dependant any more and her insurance at work has not kicked in yet. As a full time student she was eligible for medicaid.
Persons with medicaid are treated like lazy burdens. This is due to what the Government calls "optional" services.(oxygen is listed as optional)

Example: Lori Peeples-Shank, a good friend of mine, 26, was in need of a lifesaving bone marrow transplant. the hard part is finding the perfect doner/reciepant pairing. she found this in her own sister... One week before surgery, the transplant was found to be an optional service... she was kicked out of Fred Hutch hospital and died one month later leaving behind a 4 year old son. They say that our system does not affect morbitity and mortality... I say tell that to young Jeremy, now 12.

My daughters need to be assisted in bathroom, eating, physical and occupational theripy are considered optional. Why do doctors and dentists lay down their oath of medicine for this you ask? Exspecially one that should be covered with victoms compensation. Washington state is one of 3 of the worst states for reimbursing our doctors and dentist. Most won't even except medicaid. Hospitals are forced to pay for the bill under the charity act if the patient has a low income, so they kick them out ASAP to keep the bill low.

Example:My nephew at 3 knocked his front teeth up into his gums. This got infected to the point my nephew was constantly spiting green puse. My sister in law tried taking him to several dentists that would except medicaid. They refused to pull the teeth until he was four. out of desperation she had her father meet her at an emergency dentist with money for the extraction.
after the surgery she asked the dentist why he wouldnt take medicaid. He said," you see these xrays? medicaid pays us $3 a piece for them... it cost us $7 just to develop them."

Many of us lobby every year for a Universal Health care system. Every year our government bends like a reed to the Insurance and perscription drug companies that would be so called hurt by such a pool. Democracy my arse! capitalism is the winner here and if you don't have money already...well it sucks to be you.

My daughter is very lucky that I have done intensive tenant support my whole life. (thats how I injured my own back) Otherwise I don't know how anyone not in the medical field would have managed. I spend 16 hours a day doing her personal care. exhausting yes...rewarding absolutely. As any parent here at MoM would agree...Nobody could give her the time,love,care and understanding her own parent could give. Now I don't have to worry about those buggers neglecting her care... and its only temporary.

Now ...what was I on about? Oh yes...

#3 the Perp. He was driving his girlfriends vehical. No insurance and no way now to prove that he was inebreated. So instead of 4 felony accounts of vehicular assualt, he's only accused of 1 felony hit and run.

Mary there are many reasons my family would love to be back at the homestead in Cork and many reasons we are happy in the states.

This bobbin of mine is selfless in nature. The one time I thought she was gonna have a moment of selfpity she through me for a loop. "Mom, if I could go back in time..." I thought hear it comes, draw upon your strength to say something incouraging. " I would stop Micah's housefire, so he would still have his sister and not be in pain." I thought here this lass can't move, the nurses don't come for 10 minutes after she hits the call button, and she is thinking about easing someone elses 10 yr old pain. this girl is an angel, not of this world, and I truely believe we can all learn something from her.

[mawra]

Adults that are low income unless they are pregnet or permantly disabled or fit into some other catagory do not qualify for medicade. If you don't have insurance like you are out of luck. Kibbie has medicade so she is covered but I am not nor does my husband have any insurance. Luckliy there is a teaching hospital about 2 hours away that goes by income that is were we go. That hospital is good but I could not afford to go to the local one which is only 30 min. away. U.S NEEDS better health care coverage. also after age 20 no matter what dentist is not covered, eye exams are but not glasses.

[SuzyQ]

Mender - WOW!

[edith]

Poor you Mender!

I always thought that stff about insurance on Scrubs or House were exagerated...

What a mess! And we gripe about the NHS!

[P'ter]

Edith: what is terrible is that the insurance companies and drug manufacturers are lobbying our British government to scrap the N.H.S. and copy America so that they make more money.

Every time that another N.H.S. Trust gets into financial trouble some key personel are likely to be given "incentives" to see that it isn't cleared up. (That could also be why they get into trouble in the first place. It certainly happens in the Planning Control departments.)

[edith]

Aneurin Bevin must be spinning in his grave!

The problem at home is that the English hospitals are closer than the Welsh ones. The nearest orthapaedic hospital is Oswestry and the nearest big hospital is Shrewsbury, that means occasionally that they refuse to take Powys patients, meaning they have to go to Aber or Wrexham.

My grandfather had to pay for his bypass operation (he was too low down on the list for it by the NHS to be done til it was really too late) The surgeon (possibly to get him to stop feeling guilty for jumping the queue) told him that by paying he gave them the opportunity to do 4 NHS operations.

[Sandi]

My daughter (who is now nearly 30 and mother of two) would not be alive if I hadn't been living in the UK (legally married to a UK citizen) when I had her. I won't go into all the boring details but I spent a lot of time in a hospital "before" ward and she was another 10 days in hospital after she was born. I would not have been able to afford the kind of care we received in the US and I think it is likely that neither of us would have survived.

So, all you UKers, I know NHS is far from perfect but don't let the money-grubbers destroy it. It's a far better deal than most Americans have.

[Hans]

(((Mender)))

My heart goes out to you and your loved ones!

[Gwina]

Mender!
You are in my thoughts!

[mawra]

to tell you how rediculous insurance can be my Mother got a persciption for 8 pills, she was told that the ganeric ones would be cover but when I went to pick them up they said it was not covered and would be 161 dollars. They were suppose to keep her from having stomache problems while on the antibiotics she is taking. I did not pick up that pasription, Mom called her insuance co. when I got home and they told that since she olny got 8 it had to go threw a review board, because it was less than the appoved amount. If she got 12 it would be approved no questions asked but more or less than 12 and it had to go threw a review board. Her reg. Dr. gave something else.

[Allana]

All these stories are making me even more thankful for the insurance I get through my dad until I'm 22. It pays most of everything, which is good because we have alot of medical bills.

Hang in there, Mender!

[Menderofillusions]

Do not let the Perscription drug and insurance companies have their way!!!
us Yanks have to have insurance to pick our arse! (I am not kidding) And then when the pooh hits the fan, none of them are willing to pay up. No matter how long you have been paying into them.
Here in the states, People are paying $1700-2000 a month in life sustaining meds.(insulin,oxygene, heart med, et all) ...and they wonder why our elderly are eating catfood. It may be fine if your first mate is roadkill, but if your 65+, its unacceptable.
I am not talkin the viagra they spend billions of $$$ advertizing. (geez,even I think I have erectile disfuntion with how much its on the tellie)
I am currently looking into how much it pays to be a lobbist... God knows I spend enough time shooting off my big mouth at the capital anyway... Might as well get payed for it.



Everyone is slowing down. Now Tina will have a tutor.(her favorite teacher)
Got most of the doctors out of the way. We found out that her clavical (coller bone) is just hanging there about an inch from the other side of the bone...surgery soon...waiting on the neck doc to say ok.

Now instead of just crash test dummy, she is calling herself the broken hooker bot (something one of her friends said she looked like in her body brace) she will have titanium plates. She's like "cool now I'll be like wolverine...exoskeleton and everything"

I am even getting the hang of being my daughters attendant. I never got to go to my prom because I was pregnant with her... Now I get to go with her (as attendant) and see what all the hubbub is about. Thanks for all your prayers it has helped. Do not pity us it will jinx the blessings They say whatever doesn't kill ya... We came out of this one just maimed. Thank you for a safe place to panic, morn, disasemble, ponder, dust myself off and get on with life.

[mawra]

I'm very happy your daughter is kepping her spirts up. Hvae fun at the prom.

[Lady Maelin]

Mender, You certainly have a wonderful daughter...your little "Bionic Beauty", doesn't need any pity...she is a lovely tower of strength one... that reminds us all how precious life really is.

You two girls have a ton of fun at the "BALL"




P.S. Please let us know how it all goes....our possitive thoughts are with you both.

[SuzyQ]

Mender - I am glad the we are here to give you somewhere to let it out! Thank you for sharing and I hope things continue to get better and better! You and your family have some great POSITIVE attitudes and that makes all the difference.

[mawra]

Mender, my mother was reading this post and wanted to me to ask if you have applied for ssi for your daughter. If she is going to be disabled for a year or more she may be elagble. If she gats ssi then she would most likely be able to get medicade. With ssi age does not matter. My niece has had ssi now for many years.

[Menderofillusions]

Mawofone, the answer is no. Tina will only be down till her bones mend. By the grace of God, the only major muscle trama was in her shoulder. If she can have the surgery without further injury to her neck, occupational theripy will begin.

The one who is eligible for SSI is me. Its been over five years since I have been able to work. L&I finally gave up and gave me a PPD award. (permenant partial disability) Unfortuneatly it was only $7000. That is one 3rd of what I would make in a year. As far as SSI...no thanks I still have 30 years till I can retire. Living on $325 amonth, plus $10 in food stamps and medicaid does not sound like my cuppa tea.

As soon as my daughter is healed I will be going down to DVR. (department of vocational rehabilitation) They will help me get through the dicrimination of hiring someone thats not up to par. Besides, as much as I hate the buggers... I think I am gonna be a bill collector. Did you know they make $20-30 an hour? while they sit on their arse making calls. I am so there.

[mawra]

I was just woundering how the prom went. Did you & your daughter have a good time? Also how is everyone doing?