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Old Feb 9 2017, 04:30 AM   #281
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Dr. Nicholas Rush who hands it back to you and tells you not to play with such dangerous material.

*Inserts lump of Kryptonite (just for a change)*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
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"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 9 2017, 06:29 PM   #282
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Machine turns green for a moment, then there's a lot of noise, the machine rattles and shaes before returning to normal. Out steps Batman holding the now lead coated lump. He Batglares at you and then turns back and reenters the machine.

*Inserts a Greek Dinar*
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Old Feb 9 2017, 07:13 PM   #283
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out saunters a Greek waiter bearing a menu: apparently the coin was a fake with a misprinted "diner".

*Inserts an Uzbekistan Som.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)

Last edited by P'ter; Feb 10 2017 at 06:35 PM.
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Old Feb 10 2017, 04:08 PM   #284
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A package of pierogies stamped with Made in Poland falls out.

*Inserts pesos"
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Old Feb 10 2017, 06:39 PM   #285
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps The Man With NO Name in his famous Poncho



*Inserts a few dollars*
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Old Feb 11 2017, 01:26 PM   #286
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

the machine delivers a few ponchos more.

*Inserts a wooden nickel*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 11 2017, 06:39 PM   #287
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a wooden doll


*Inserts a brass Farthing*
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Old Feb 12 2017, 07:16 AM   #288
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a freezing brass monkey

Inserts a corn doll
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Old Feb 12 2017, 08:00 AM   #289
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A series of loud explosions herald its return as popcorn.

*Inserts a laurel wreath*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 12 2017, 06:48 PM   #290
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Mafia Don leading a funeral procession

*Inserts a pair of Sunglasses*
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Old Feb 13 2017, 04:25 PM   #291
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out saunters Ray Ban.

*Inserts a synchroswimmer's nose clip*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 13 2017, 07:04 PM   #292
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Jimmy Durante


*Inserts a Candelabra*
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Old Feb 14 2017, 08:24 AM   #293
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine lights up (and ejects a used candle with the announcement "You're getting on my wick").

*Inserts an Android tablet*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 14 2017, 07:21 PM   #294
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Data who takes the book he was reading back and reenters the machine


*Inserts a bottle of Kanar*
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Old Feb 15 2017, 05:06 AM   #295
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine asks "Bajoran or Cardassian." You choose and it then delivers the wrong one.

*Inserts an Australian 3 dollar bill*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 15 2017, 07:14 AM   #296
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

It comes out again as a double-headed penny

Inserts three groats
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Old Feb 15 2017, 04:55 PM   #297
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A voice inside the machine starts singing "I'm a troll folderol; I'm a tro-ll folderol; I'm* a troll folderol; And I'm going to eat you up." (He thought the insertion was 3 goats!)

*Inserts a completed colouring book*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 15 2017, 05:31 PM   #298
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the Director of the local Art Gallery wanting to show your work


*Inserts a Movie Ticket*
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Old Feb 15 2017, 05:39 PM   #299
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a DVD of Trolls.

*Inserts a flat-screen tele.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 16 2017, 05:26 PM   #300
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Holoscreen replacement.


*Inserts a Holodeck Program*
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Old Feb 16 2017, 06:58 PM   #301
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Rimmer from Red Dwarf.

Inserts a wedding dress.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 17 2017, 06:17 PM   #302
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Bridezilla 'Unhappy' with the style and fit


*Inserts an Amazon Mask*
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Old Feb 18 2017, 04:45 AM   #303
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A fruity face-pack is ejected at speed and hits you between the eyes.

*Inserts a pillow-case*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 18 2017, 06:58 PM   #304
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out slides a fully made bed with Corbin Dallas on it.


*Inserts a Multipass*
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Old Feb 20 2017, 06:24 PM   #305
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out gallops the fifth rider of Armageddon.

*Inserts a tablet*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 20 2017, 07:29 PM   #306
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Moses carring the Ten Commandments


*Inserts a Roman Coin*
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Old Feb 21 2017, 03:19 PM   #307
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a metal detector bleeping madly.

*Inserts a cowrie shell*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 21 2017, 08:34 PM   #308
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps a Sound Recordist looking for more seaside sounds


*Inserts a Swiss Horn*
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Old Feb 22 2017, 05:58 PM   #309
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A fanfare of alpenstocks precedes an avalanche of toblerones.

*Inserts an Afghan 'afghani'*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 22 2017, 06:52 PM   #310
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Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A large Dog towing a trolly of biscuits emerges.


*Inserts a copy of Stephen Hawkings book*
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Old Feb 23 2017, 10:57 AM   #311
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A piece of card is spat out. On it is written, 'your goods will be delivered after the passing of sufficient time.'

*Inserts diary for 999AD.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 23 2017, 07:39 PM   #312
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Samual Peepes emerges and calls it a good read.



*Inserts a Gold Sovereign*
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Old Feb 24 2017, 09:56 AM   #313
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out parades Louis XIV, who gives you a gracious wave and re-enters the machine.

*Inserts Florence Nightingale's lamp*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 24 2017, 06:27 PM   #314
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Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

There is a strange sound, then etherial singing and out comes a column of Elves heading for The Grey Havens



*Inserts an Elven Bow*
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Old Feb 25 2017, 05:11 AM   #315
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

To a chorus of "One More Door" a band of banned Dwarves appear carrying a variety of captured elvish weapons.

*Inserts a chunk of nedross stone.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 25 2017, 06:47 PM   #316
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps a mineralogist with a curious look on his face


*Insertw a NASA Badge*
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Old Feb 26 2017, 05:07 AM   #317
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out come the stars of Thunderpants.

*Inserts a campaign medal from the Sino-Japan War.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 26 2017, 06:16 AM   #318
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A long Chinese dragon winds out of the machine and gives it back to you.

Inserts four of my Chinese paintbrushes hanging from a carved wooden stand ...
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Old Feb 26 2017, 06:51 PM   #319
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the first Emperor of China who wants you to paint his tomb


*Inserts T.E. Lawrences Autobiography*
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Old Feb 27 2017, 05:28 AM   #320
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

with a raucous blarp of its horn; out rolls a Brough Superior SS100 motorbike.

*Inserts a packet of Camels*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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All references to worlds and characters based on Anne McCaffrey’s fiction are copyright © Anne McCaffrey 1967-2008, all rights reserved, and used by permission of the author.