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Old May 22 2012, 12:22 PM   #201
L'isa
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes several pieces of eight.

Put them back in to see if maybe that will correct the misprinted edition of War & Piece.
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Old May 23 2012, 04:21 AM   #202
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Napoleon leading the French Army.


*Inserts a gold button*
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Old May 30 2012, 03:58 PM   #203
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a plug nickel. (Well, you didn't think that button was real gold, did you??)

Picks up a few pretty rocks and shoves them in...
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Old Jan 4 2017, 04:07 PM   #204
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a plate of granite chips and pea shingle covered in cold gravy.


Puts in an invitation to last year's graduation.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

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Old Jan 4 2017, 06:14 PM   #205
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A hunk of very stale graduation cake plonks out.

* inserts some Times Square confetti...
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Old Jan 5 2017, 04:07 AM   #206
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a long strip of ticker-tape giving the U.S. share prices of exactly 100 years ago.

Inserts a Tudor Groat.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 5 2017, 05:09 PM   #207
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Henry VIII in full Jousting gear


*Inserts a strip of Gold Pressed Latinum*
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Old Jan 5 2017, 06:27 PM   #208
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine delivers a copy of 'The Oxford Dictionary of Church Latin'.

Inserts a non-existent 3 Euro coin . . .
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 6 2017, 06:51 AM   #209
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes half of a torn "Brexit" poster.


Inserts ten used cat claw-sheaths from my carpet ...
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Old Jan 6 2017, 04:03 PM   #210
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

... out comes the Cheshire Cat's Grin.

Puts in a Festival of Britain Souvenir 5/- coin.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 6 2017, 04:16 PM   #211
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a 500ml Mug of Tea with a Union Jack on the side


*Inserts a slug with an RAF Roundel on it*
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Old Jan 6 2017, 07:11 PM   #212
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out comes a CD/Rom for a test-pilot game.

Inserts a redundant sim card.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 7 2017, 04:41 PM   #213
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Brick Mobile Phone


*Inserts Tuppence*
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Old Jan 7 2017, 06:09 PM   #214
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out falls a packet of bird seed, with a picture of Mary Poppins on the bag. This is fine if you want to grow a crop of birds, or even birds' crops.


Inserts a 'four-penny-one'.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 8 2017, 06:43 PM   #215
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pops a Penny Farthing


*Inserts a Cole bottle top*
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Old Jan 9 2017, 04:41 AM   #216
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

. . . receives squirt of dirty brown liquid right in the left eye.

Inserts small magnifying glass . . .
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 9 2017, 06:53 PM   #217
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a giant Ant!!

*Inserts a Klingon Emblem*
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Old Jan 10 2017, 03:57 AM   #218
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Which the machine rejects (with a small being clinging on to it)

Inserts a green-shield stamp
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 10 2017, 06:27 PM   #219
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps an Ent Army


*Inserts a Spartan Shield*
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Old Jan 11 2017, 08:47 AM   #220
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out marches the Spartan army to fight the Ents.

Inserts a used Band-Aid.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 11 2017, 05:07 PM   #221
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a M*A*S*H unit to take care of the battle wounded


*Innserts a pair of glasses*
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Old Jan 11 2017, 05:34 PM   #222
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

They come back out filled with beer.

Inserts a slice of chicken breast.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 12 2017, 06:51 AM   #223
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes three feathers and a rooster's crow.

Inserts a pair of two-up pennies.
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Old Jan 12 2017, 04:37 PM   #224
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Gets a shove-half-penny board.

Inserts a supermarket trolley token
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 12 2017, 05:29 PM   #225
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a fully laden kiddies trolly


*Inserts a Ducat*
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Old Jan 13 2017, 09:21 AM   #226
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out comes puss in boots (duc cat -- never mind )

Inserts a sou.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 13 2017, 04:37 PM   #227
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Outcomes Crazy Horse


*Inserts a bottle of Rum*
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Old Jan 14 2017, 05:49 AM   #228
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out comes an empty rum bottle and a loud belch.

Inserts an eye-patch.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 14 2017, 05:03 PM   #229
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Nick Fury scowling

*Inserts a German Reich mark*
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Old Jan 14 2017, 08:13 PM   #230
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

After some odd noises, the machine ejects the Duchess of Windsor.

Not much in pocket at present; inserts a pfennig.
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 15 2017, 05:29 AM   #231
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pops the Pied Piper of Hamlyn, followed by a tribe of children. He's annoyed, he was expecting more pay, so he stomps off, followed by the children.

Inserts the Pied Piper's hat.

(Ps - two up coins could easily be followed by a bunch of large coppers - it's an illegal gambling game.)
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Old Jan 15 2017, 03:03 PM   #232
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The said hat is rejected by the machine. But, then, to the sound of distant piping, the hat re-enters the machine.

Inserts a crown and anchor . .
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 15 2017, 05:34 PM   #233
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pops a Pint of British Bitter


*Inserts a Gummy Snake*
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You can never have too much Coffee

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Old Jan 16 2017, 03:42 AM   #234
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

... and receives a packet of jelly babies

*Inserts a used train ticket*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 16 2017, 06:08 AM   #235
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

which comes out again as confetti

inserts a large brass button
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Old Jan 16 2017, 06:51 PM   #236
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Steampunk Starship


*Inserts a Coffee Bean*
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Old Jan 17 2017, 05:44 AM   #237
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a maxi-grande moccachino with sprinkles, marshmallows and an umbrella.

*Inserts a tealeaf*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 17 2017, 08:04 PM   #238
Kugai
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Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the an East Indiaman laden with Chinese Tea


*Isnserts a Copper Pot*
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Old Jan 18 2017, 06:46 AM   #239
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Oops - that was a pot still. The moonshine had better be good.

Inserts a frozen brass monkey
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Old Jan 18 2017, 05:02 PM   #240
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Machine goes ice cold and makes a rattling noise before disgorging a Yeti Plushie


*Inserts a five pound note*
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