A Meeting of Minds - An Anne McCaffrey Discussion Forum  

Go Back   A Meeting of Minds - An Anne McCaffrey Discussion Forum > The Mezzanine > Exhibit Hall

Exhibit Hall For the exhibition of artistic creations by our members, from poetry and prose to drawings, photography, and digital art.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old Aug 15 2007, 09:46 PM   #1
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Title: Boxed: A Story of Talent
Universe: The Tower and the Hive
Main Characters: Hemlata (OC), Afra Lyon, Damia Raven-Lyon, Jeff Raven
Minor Characters: Anyone not already mentioned as a major character might pop up, if they're alive as of The Tower and the Hive
Summary: Boxed: A Story of Talent is set after The Tower and the Hive, but is based on a premise from The Rowan - what would the FT&T have to do to protect itself and others if a Prime-level Talent got corrupted in some way at an early age? There's a throwaway line in The Rowan about the reason everyone and their mother were monitoring and spying on the poor girl: they were afraid her tragic experience at the age of three would forever color her life and screw up her personality. But...being honest...the Rowan didn't have it nearly as bad as the book made out. Yes, she lost her parents, but she had an extremely loving foster family, and loving friends, and she never wanted for food, clothing, shelter, etc. How would a Prime that had been well and truly abused shape up? And how would the FT&T, needing to protect itself and its status for the sake of all its Talents, react, and how would the uber-adjusted Gwen/Raven/Lyons deal with her? Anne McCaffrey makes excellent worlds and 'good' characters, but I don't think she likes to contemplate 'gray areas', where generally good people do bad things (unless it's obviously an accident, such as Damia's tragic love affair with Amir), or bad people who occasionally have a streak of decency. So that's where my fic fits in.

Boxed: A Story of Talent on ff.net

(Apologies for the link; given it's a Talent fic, it relies heavily on italics, and I don't know of any program yet that can convert a word doc to bb code so I can post it here in its proper form)

I don't have a beta for the work, so please excuse any mistakes in spelling/grammar/canon that I might make, and feel free to point them out for me so I can correct them!
D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 16 2007, 01:56 AM   #2
granath
Talent
Tower Prime
 
granath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Proud Mom!
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon
Now Reading: Faye Upton: Dragonchoice 3
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

I've just read the first chapter, and the beginning is very good indeed. A little niggle though: Capella is subject to torrential rains. In Damia little Afra is given a coin to put away "for a rainy day" and Afra finds it absurd, because when it rains on Capella nobody goes anywhere. Obviously this is from the viewpoint of a small boy, and he may not be fully aware of the geography of his planet at that age, so there may be some completely arid regions on Capella. We just don't know.

You also get then and than mixed up rather too frequently. Then refers to time, than denotes a preference. ("First I went to the store, then I went home." "I'd rather be a hammer than a nail.")
__________________
Decaf coffee is an oxymoron. Instant coffee is an abomination. Give me the real thing and nobody gets hurt.
"Do. Or do not. There is no try" -- Yoda
VP of the Afra Lyon fan club!

Last edited by granath; Aug 16 2007 at 02:20 AM.
granath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 16 2007, 02:33 AM   #3
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Thank you for the comments!

I do remember that line, but Capella's not described as a green, verdant jungle either (green Capellan skins aside), so I think the Tower might be in an area with a monsoon season or something, but that doesn't preclude there being deserts elsewhere. And deserts would be sparsely populated; a Tower in my estimation does most good in a high-population area, because that's where the most travel and most cargo traffic will be happening, so I'd find it unlikely there would be a Tower near a desert, unless that desert had some sort of commerce going on, like mining operations or the like. Even then, Damia at Aurigae Tower was described as picking up ore drones directly from the mines, but that was shown as something unusual, the miners "taking advantage" of her, so my guess is that most cargo to be shipped out by Talent comes in by road, sea, and air, so a Tower would be in the middle of an extensive network of roads/ports/airstrips. With the exception of Callisto, which only seems to take in cargo by telekinesis, and acts as a routing point for shipments that don't strictly need to touch down on Earth on their way to their final destination.

Heh, I guess that's a long paragraph to say that I make up stuff for variation when Anne hasn't explicitly said, "this is the way it is!" in a rather final manner. Otherwise the story will get boring for me to write, if all I do is regurgitate exactly what Anne's already written before in a slightly new format.

Edit: Then/than - gah, I do. That's my bane. Thanks for pointing it out. I'll axe that when I do my next edits.
D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 16 2007, 03:08 AM   #4
granath
Talent
Tower Prime
 
granath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Proud Mom!
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon
Now Reading: Faye Upton: Dragonchoice 3
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Indeed. You might throw a line about the torrential rains of Capella City somewhere. I always thought that the Method would most likely flourish in a fairly harsh climate, but a desert would be that, wouldn't it?

One thing that struck me is Hemlata's surname Maharanjani. Obviously it's probably quite common on the Indian subcontinent, but it would be fun to know what her relationship is, if any, with the Altairian Maharanjani, T-2 and partnered with Bastian. They started a family and took the name Bastianmajani, the surname of Flavia (daughter or granddaughter, Anne's been a bit inconsistent there) and her brother Mallen.
__________________
Decaf coffee is an oxymoron. Instant coffee is an abomination. Give me the real thing and nobody gets hurt.
"Do. Or do not. There is no try" -- Yoda
VP of the Afra Lyon fan club!

Last edited by granath; Aug 16 2007 at 04:03 AM.
granath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 16 2007, 02:51 PM   #5
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

I figure a harsher form of the Method would flourish in harsher areas, with Afra's form in the Tower/capitol city environment being probably one of the less severe, more akin to some aristocratic form of honor/dishonor or something Japanese, and the form Hemlata was exposed to being pretty darn brutal (but also twisted as the men she lived with become pretty unhinged and emotional in the privacy of their home). And Afra certainly made a lot of adjustments to his form of it, starting at a young age where he viewed "disapproved" and "inappropriate" vids without parental permission. (Sounds like me! Raised fairly strictly Catholic, and then I started to read Sci-Fi with all sorts of weird to kinky stuff in it, lol)

I did swipe the name Maharanjani from the T-2 Maharanjani, and there is a relation, but it's fairly distant (otherwise don't you think Flavia and her family would have known about Hemlata earlier and come in with the calvery?) They have common ancestors on Earth.
D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Aug 17 2007, 06:59 AM   #6
granath
Talent
Tower Prime
 
granath's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Proud Mom!
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon
Now Reading: Faye Upton: Dragonchoice 3
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Good to know, and I'll keep reading!
__________________
Decaf coffee is an oxymoron. Instant coffee is an abomination. Give me the real thing and nobody gets hurt.
"Do. Or do not. There is no try" -- Yoda
VP of the Afra Lyon fan club!
granath is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jan 27 2008, 01:42 PM   #7
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Chapter 8 is up!
D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 30 2008, 06:45 PM   #8
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

This is actually up to chapter 11 now.
D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Mar 30 2008, 10:50 PM   #9
kevia
Ballybran Resident

Tuner
 
kevia's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Somewhere in the USA
Gender: F
Fan of: Nimisha's Ship
Now Reading: Crystal Line
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

This one really pulled me in. I can hardly wait to see if Afra and Damia are really able to help Hemlata. And I am intrigued to see how Anatoly fits into the story. I mean, I can see where their paths will likely cross, but I wonder what happens then. Yep, gotta watch for coming chapters.
__________________
Kevia
kevia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old Jun 19 2009, 02:28 AM   #10
D. M. Domini
Talent
Finder
 
D. M. Domini's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Chicagoland
Gender: F
Fan of: Afra Lyon, and Robinton!
Now Reading: Sabriel by Garth Nix
Default Re: Boxed: A Story of Talent (Talent fic)

Bumpity bump.

Chapter 14 has arrived. There's a good chance that I will edit it a bit, in retrospect it gets very dense and I suspect that creates a pacing issue, but yeah.

Enjoy!
__________________
Read my Pern and Talent fanfic on Archive of our Own.

Fanfic WIPs: The Day Benden Went to War (Pern/Talent); Slosh (Pern); Weyrbred Lads (Pern); When You Fall Asleep /Between/... (Pern)

Completed Fics: Flight (Pern), Flight v2 (Pern), Golden Glow (Pern)

D. M. Domini is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Fic? D. M. Domini Talent: Pegasus, Tower & Hive, and Barque Cats 33 Sep 4 2008 12:35 AM
Sackcloth and Ashes (a Talent fic) D. M. Domini Exhibit Hall 22 Mar 31 2008 10:19 PM
Test Run: Robinton and F'lon Brenda Exhibit Hall 7 Feb 11 2008 02:20 PM
Fic: And Then There Was One (Talent Universe) D. M. Domini Exhibit Hall 1 Dec 19 2007 10:52 AM
Talent Book and Short Story List Cheryl Talent: Pegasus, Tower & Hive, and Barque Cats 0 Nov 26 2004 08:15 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 03:10 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

A Meeting of Minds forum owned by Cheryl B. Miller.
All references to worlds and characters based on Anne McCaffrey’s fiction are copyright © Anne McCaffrey 1967-2008, all rights reserved, and used by permission of the author.