Things I learned living in the south

[mawra]

THINGS I LEARNED LIVING IN the south



A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of

the road.



There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.


There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one's seen before.



If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

Onced and Twiced are words.

It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!




Jawl-P? means, Did you all go to the bathroom?


People actually grow, eat and like okra.


Fixinto is one word. It means I'm going to do that.


There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there's supper.



Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.



Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.




The word jeet is actually a question meaning, 'Did you eat?'


You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is, you work until you're done or it's too dark to see.


You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.



Ya'll is singular. All ya'll is plural.


All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.



You carry jumper cables in your car - for your OWN car.



You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.


The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.

Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name) or Mr.(first name)


You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.



You know what a hissy fit is..



Fried catfish is the other white meat.



We don't need no dang Driver's Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!

You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.

[Allen]

Most holds true to the Missouri Ozarks as well.

But as for the South, there's one they missed: Kudzu is a four-lettered profanity. (Yes, I can count.)

[Sandi]

I have lived in the South all my life (even those years spent in South Korea and Southern England) but I have never heard anybody use the word y'all to indicate an individual.

And Allen, you are so right about the k-word!

[P'ter]

I thought "kudzu" was a warning of possible legal proceedings.

[Sandi]

I like that one P'ter! I only wish it were true.

[Dragon Fan]

I was born and raised in the North East, But, I lived in Memphis Tn. for 2 and a half years. Three of my Sisters Still live in the South, 2 in Memphis and 1 in Arkansas, 3 of my brother in laws were born and raised in the South, (Tennessee (2) and Mississippi ) One of the best references to Snakes comes from the One from Mississippi, he calls them " No Shoulders" And wants nothing to do with them. Just something that needs squashed. The first one from Tn. is living to the beat of his own drum and nobody but him knows the Beat. He also wears the weirdest socks ever seen on the planet, I have no Idea where he gets them, I have never seen there like sold in any store I have ever been in. The third is a former Army Ranger, He is too Quiet, and All 3 are very good people, And Did you know Kudzu is Edible! I can't say that around them, they would go off the deep end and cuss me something terrible.

[Sandi]

A few years ago some of the TV news hounds were saying some Japanese company wanted to start kudzu farms. I think it was a hoax. it is technically used for human food but only in limited amounts. They extract some sort of starch to use in making noodles or something. I know they claimed for a while it was good as cattle feed but my grandfather's cows wouldn't eat it and I don't think I've ever seen one that would. There are some good things to say about it, though. For one, when it blooms the smell is wonderful and seems to sweeten the whole world. Our bees love it and it makes very good honey. And it must be said that it covers and eventually brings down old derelict buildings and machines that have been abandoned for decades.

[Dragon Fan]

Even stubborn things have their uses. I know what you mean about the smell of the blooms, same thing here when our locust trees and Lilac bushes are flowering. Smells great on a spring day.

[Sandi]

I love lilacs. They don't do well here. Too hot.

[Dragon Fan]

Originally Posted by Sandi

I love lilacs. They don't do well here. Too hot.

I Wish the blooms would last longer. 2 or 3 weeks and they are gone. I bought a Yankee candle that is lilac scented, I don't light it ( I would have to buy another ) Just pop the lid off every now and then and smell it.