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Old Mar 21 2017, 07:59 PM   #361
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Elanor Roosevelt

*Insertsa set of Leg Braces*
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Old Mar 22 2017, 05:06 AM   #362
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Teddy Roosevelt in his wheelchair.

Inserts a copy of the Munich Agreement.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
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"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

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Old Mar 22 2017, 07:34 PM   #363
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

It was FDR who 'had a Wheelchair and Leg Braces P'ter


Out comes Stalin and Churchill glowering.


*Inserts a KV-2 Tank model*
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Old Mar 23 2017, 05:25 AM   #364
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a handwritten card stating (in Russian) "Stupid development: too slow, too heavy, useless turret! Try again -- harder. I.S."

*Inserts a model of Hedwig.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 23 2017, 08:59 PM   #365
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes The Angry Inch

*inserts a Spinal Tap CD*




Oh, and KV-2 Hand or Stalin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acY8H79ykcw
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Last edited by Kugai; Mar 24 2017 at 05:14 PM.
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Old Mar 24 2017, 05:40 AM   #366
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

(I thought it was the KV-2 that was Stalin's Hand?)

Out come Patrick Macnee and Anjelica Huston to dance a jive.

*Inserts a video cassette of episode one: the Rock Follies.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 24 2017, 05:16 PM   #367
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes The Rolling Stones


*Inserts a Pirate Flag*
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Old Mar 24 2017, 06:09 PM   #368
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A tsunami of water precedes the arrival of a sailing dinghy crewed by Nancy and Peggy Blackett.

*Inserts a jelly baby*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 25 2017, 07:52 PM   #369
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A minature model of the TARDIS wrapped in an extraordinary long scarf emerges.

**nserts a Flux Capacitor*
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Old Mar 26 2017, 09:15 AM   #370
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A full-size working version of the DeLorean time machine rolls out.

* Inserts Trag's sonic cutter.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 26 2017, 06:00 PM   #371
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Killashandra with a crate of Black to install


*Inserts a sack of Firestone*
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Old Mar 27 2017, 06:23 PM   #372
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Out fly a fair of flaming firelizards.

*Inserts a bag of klah bark.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 28 2017, 11:45 PM   #373
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a mug of Klah at McDonalds Temperature


*Inserts a Law Suit*
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Old Mar 29 2017, 03:32 AM   #374
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a lawyer wearing said suit m'lud.

*inserts a footnote*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 29 2017, 05:56 AM   #375
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

It comes out again, yelling, "I don't want to be a forgotten footnote in history, I want to be a heading!"

So you insert it, headfirst, back into the machine ...
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Old Mar 29 2017, 08:46 PM   #376
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the RSPCF to fine you $200


*Inserts a Copper Kettle*
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Old Mar 30 2017, 06:14 PM   #377
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine starts heaving and shuddering reminiscent of a woman giving birth to an elephant; and eventually extrudes a complete tea-shop.

*Inserts a large dose of Ergot.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Mar 31 2017, 06:09 PM   #378
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

OUt comes a large serving of Mushroom Soup

*Inserts a Gnome*
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Old Apr 1 2017, 01:56 PM   #379
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine makes a series of 'goblin' noises and ejects Fairy Nuff.

*Inserts a firelizard shell*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 1 2017, 06:32 PM   #380
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

There is a gout of flame out of the slot and out flits a Bronze Firelizard.


*Inserts a set of Pan Pipes*
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Old Apr 2 2017, 03:04 AM   #381
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pops Bromius saying "Ta. I forgot where I'd left them." The only problem is he says it in Hellenic Greek.

*Inserts an Eolian Harp.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 2 2017, 09:02 AM   #382
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a gust of wind and a lot of twanging sounds

Inserts a set of wind chimes ...
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Old Apr 2 2017, 05:20 PM   #383
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes one of those luxurious deckchairs with arms with drinks rests; in one of which is a large dry martini.

*Inserts a plan of MoM Headquarters.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 2 2017, 07:17 PM   #384
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Jim Phelps who takes them back with a gentlemanly "I need those thank you."


*Inserts a picture of Marten Landau*
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Old Apr 3 2017, 03:08 AM   #385
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine delivers an ancient videotape of "Pork Chop Hill".

*Inserts a reel of magnetic tape containing a recording of "Monday, Monday"*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 3 2017, 09:10 PM   #386
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

It ejects a Cassette Tape of the Disco song 'Thank God It's Friday'


*Inserts an Earth, Wind and Fire Record*
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Old Apr 4 2017, 06:11 PM   #387
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine delivers a large sample of the missing fourth element.

*After drying off, inserts a recording by Wet Wet Wet.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 4 2017, 09:39 PM   #388
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes Simon Cowell to ofer criticism

*Inserts a picture of Paula Abdul*
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Old Apr 5 2017, 04:51 PM   #389
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine spits out the cast of Loose Women.

*Inserts a copy of "Blood, Bodies & Families in Early Modern England".*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 5 2017, 08:05 PM   #390
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Mrs Becham looking flustered.



*Inserts a Gold Bar*
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Old Apr 6 2017, 03:49 AM   #391
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The vending machine delivers a large selection of alcoholic drinks: and then retakes them saying, "sorry; wrong type of bar".

*Inserts a silver tea-tray.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 6 2017, 06:15 PM   #392
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Bone China Tea Service with a pot of Darjeeling and Lemon and Honey


*Inserts a feathered Indian Headdress *
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Old Apr 7 2017, 05:52 PM   #393
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine sneezes violently several times (allergic to feathers) and returns the headdress in its component parts.

*Inserts a large dose of Loratadine.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 8 2017, 08:02 PM   #394
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes an Allergist to test you.

*Inserts a Medicaid Bracelet*
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Old Apr 9 2017, 05:47 PM   #395
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine returns it intoning "I do not need this: I am incapable of having either allergies or a sense of humour."

*Inserts a whoopy cushion*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 9 2017, 06:01 PM   #396
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out steps Ms Goldberg who thanks you for the personalised cushion.


*Inserts a Q Action Figure*
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Old Apr 10 2017, 03:57 AM   #397
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Kirk's wrist radio drops out and Uhura is heard saying "Hailing frequencies open Captain."

*Inserts a set of drums from the Harper Hall drum heights.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 10 2017, 08:24 PM   #398
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Loud drumming starts and a voice comes over a Tannoy "Mairneville, man all Battlestations!"


*Inserts a pass to Straker Studios*
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Old Apr 11 2017, 02:48 AM   #399
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out strides Neptune shaking his trident, and shouting "How dare you use my house without permission!"

*Inserts a 1960s bomber jacket.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Apr 11 2017, 10:16 PM   #400
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine rattles and shakes violently, then form out the slot flies a Vic throe formation of model Vulcan Bombers



*Inerts a picture of Chuck Yeager*
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