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Games and Miscellany Participate in word game threads, post jokes, share links to interesting websites or news stories. And watch out for hosts lobbing in topics that don't quite fit anywhere else! |
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#721 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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The machine, still showing all the hallmarks of dyslexi, delivers a battered Crocker motorbike.
*Inserts a bank overdraft.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#722 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Dour faced Financial Advisor emerges to give you sound advice
*Inserts a pair of Ear Protector Muffs*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#723 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Gender: F
Fan of: Harper Hall |
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The machine clanks, whistles, and spits them out again. You put them on so you can't hear that financial adviser telling you you don't need another new car.
Inserts a used, empty ballot-box. |
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#724 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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Through vents on its top, the machine ejects thousands of ballot papers which scatter knee deep around it. In a deep voice it demands a recount.
*Inserts a pepperoni pizza.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#725 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Scoffs Pizza, burps and returns empty box for Recycling.
![]() *Inserts a packet of Gummy Snakes*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#726 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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The gummy snakes flee the machine pursued by a gummy mongoose.
*Inserts a jeroboam of champagne.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#727 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Trades it for a Barrel of Guinness
*Inserts a Pint Glass*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#728 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: M
Fan of: The Smallest Dragonboy
Now Reading: The Rift
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Receives said pint glass back filled with a hard cider, Quite refreshing !
" Inserts a jug of Moonshine "
__________________
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" ![]() |
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#729 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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The machine delivers a large glass container of glittery starshine.
*Inserts a photo-shopped photo of Winston Churchill giving his victory sign the wrong way round.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#730 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Sets it beside the one of him dressed in a Pinstripe Suit and had with a Tommy Gun - looking for all the world like a Chicago Gangster
![]() *Inserts a Stogie*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#731 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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There is a loud splash and Harvey Cheyne appears sprawled on the pavement, dressed in a cherry blazer, knickerbockers, red stockings and bicycle shoes. His red flannel cap falls off. He is promptly extremely sea-sick and disappears down his own vomit.
*Inserts a vacuum cleaner.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#732 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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There is a weird noise and suddenly the Machine collapses in on itself with a wierd schlooping noise.
Replaces Machine and *Inserts a bottle of Romulan Ale*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#733 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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The machine staggers off down the street from lamppost to lamppost going "Warf! Warf!"
The usual slot being unavailable: *injects Old Mother Hubbard's Patent Cure-all through a vent slot.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#734 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Machine immediately sobers up, apologises and returns to its usual position
*Inserts a Silver Bullet(
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#735 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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The machine enlarges somewhat and delivers a polished aluminium caravan.
*Inserts an empty gas cylinder*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#736 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
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Converts cylinder into a nice Pot Belly Woodburning Stove and warms up the house.
*Inserts a Cord of Wood*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#737 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine sounds off with the opening chord of Tchaikovsky's Eugene Onegin in as premiered by Wood in1892.
*Inserts a roll of old-fashioned hard, shiny toilet paper.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#738 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Sets fire to it yelling and screaming in terror.
*Inserts a bottle of Holy Water*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#739 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
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A loud scream is heard and the machine shivers, sprouting a tail and horns. A passing priest takes pity on it and hits it with his bible; whereupon the horns mutate into a halo, the machine sprouts wings and flies away.
After the machine has been replaced (yet again: le sigh!) *inserts the priest.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#740 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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There is the sound of Horns, Harps and a Holy Chorus and he reemerges as Pope
*Inserts a Shepherds Crook*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#741 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: M
Fan of: The Smallest Dragonboy
Now Reading: The Rift
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A herd of Sheep run you over as they flee from the Crook !
Inserts a roll of bandages and a Splint.
__________________
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" ![]() |
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#742 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine delivers the bandages back, wrapped around an invisible mummy with a splinted fractured leg.
*Inserts a bill for Obama-care.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#743 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Sends Bill to the Republican Party
*Inserts a Trump Hat*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#744 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Gender: F
Fan of: Harper Hall |
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It rolls itself into a trumpet and tootles off into the distance searching for the right hairpiece.
Inserts a teeter-totter, one end painted blue, the other red and green, with a local politician standing on it wondering which way to go. |
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#745 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine delivers the politician back, well perforated from sitting on the fence too long. He gallops off in all directions.
*In true Navy Lark tradition, inserts a street map of Broadstairs.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#746 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Machine read the Map wrong and winds up in Broadchurch.
*Inserts a SatNav*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#747 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine rejects the Satnav with the message "I ain't going nowhere."
*Inserts a steady cam.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#748 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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There is a loud 'POP' and you and the Machine suddenly find yourselfves on the Forest Moon of Endor as Speeder Bikes scream past you at high speed. One crashes explosively into the Machine.
When you come to a couple of minutes later, it's midnight and you're on the grass at the New Jersey Turnpike next to a Statue of john Malkovich *Replaces Machine and inserts a picture of Angilina Jolie*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#749 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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A rumble from the machine heralds the arrival of a Lego-sized Lara Croft who lies sprawled on the sidewalk. A further rumble leads to her getting buried in thousands of Malteesers.
*Inserts a helping of mint-choc chip ice-cream.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#750 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Deanna Troi emerges, thanks you for the Ice Cream while returning the Bowl and Spoon then reenters the Machine
*Inserts a Seven of Nine Action Figure*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#751 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine delivers 30 punnets of strawberries.
*Inserts an inflatable cushion.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#752 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Inflates Cushion and uses same as backrest
*Inserts a Coupon for a Shiatzu Massage*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#753 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine delivers two animals: a Maine Coon cat massaging a Shih Tzu.
*Inserts a plastic fork.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#754 |
Crazy Kiwi Shoujo-Ai Fan
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Wellington NEW ZEALAND
Gender: M
Fan of: Tower and Hive Series
Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
|
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Machine delivers a Railways Pork Pie on a paper Plate with a plastic Knife and Fork
*Inserts a Railways Tea Cup*
__________________
JAMES THE ![]() You can never have too much Coffee ![]() Homepage FreeBabylon5 FreeBabylon5 Website |
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#755 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Wellington, New Zealand
Gender: F
Fan of: Harper Hall |
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It bounces around in the machine with a horrible clatter, is ejected at speed, ricochets off a concrete wall and a passing rubbish truck before landing at your feet - without a scratch or a chip.
Thinks she might have more luck inserting a concrete mixer. |
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#756 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: M
Fan of: The Smallest Dragonboy
Now Reading: The Rift
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Out comes a large stack of concrete blocks.
After constructing a BBQ pit, Inserts a perfectly roasted rack of pork ribs, Dripping with a Tangy Sauce.
__________________
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" ![]() |
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#757 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine belches and delivers a card requesting antacid.
*Inserts an entire bottle of Enos Fruit Salts.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#758 |
The Contrary
Planetary Brain
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Northern Indiana
Gender: F
Fan of: The Ship Who Searched
Now Reading: The Calhoun Collection, Nora Roberts
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A hot cup of chamomile tea emerges, followed by a plate of biscuits.
Inserts a bright orange flag.
__________________
Thinking, understanding, reasoning, willing, call not these Soul! They are its actions, but they are not its essence. Akhenaton? (c. B.C. 1375) Egyptian King and Monotheist |
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#759 |
Crafter
![]() Craftmaster Join Date: May 2006
Location: Wolverhampton
Gender: M
Fan of: Favorite?
Now Reading: avidly
|
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The machine emits a loud blast from a referee's whistle; and the entire Dutch football emerges in their orange strip. They disappear down the street chasing a ball.
*Inserts a (sucked) segment of a Navel orange.*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten. "When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up." C. S. Lewis "I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx) The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar) |
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#760 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Pennsylvania
Gender: M
Fan of: The Smallest Dragonboy
Now Reading: The Rift
|
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Machine thanks you for the Organic matter to add to the compost bin!
Inserts a variety of heirloom seeds
__________________
"To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven" ![]() |
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Thread | Thread Starter | Forum | Replies | Last Post |
Espresso Book Machine -- poised to revolutionize the paperback industry? | Cheryl | Café Archives | 10 | Aug 26 2006 11:13 PM |