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Old Feb 1 2006, 04:25 PM   #1
Lady Maelin
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Edi,
Very interesting, strange kind of mystery like, very very good . The only part that is a little dificult is the alien talking. But I think that I could get use to it after awhile. Are you going to write more, I would like to know what else happens.
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Old Feb 1 2006, 04:29 PM   #2
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theres a little more- and the alien gets more legible- I was playing around with the accent!
I'll just go and find my datapen with it on.
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Old Feb 1 2006, 04:38 PM   #3
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Sounds great, the story is very interesting, you do this very well, maybe you could write part time in the future ?
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Old Feb 1 2006, 05:13 PM   #4
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I hate cliff-hangers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


More more!!!!!

Enjoying very much edith, can you tell?

I agree, it is very good!
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Old Feb 1 2006, 05:33 PM   #5
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theres not much more written- it's kind of a side project-the next chapter needs a bit of work before I post it. Be right back-I hope!
(I'm a bit bored at the mo-the prog I wanted to watch has been cancelled cos of a football match! (and its only Wrexham vs TNS!)
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Old Feb 2 2006, 08:29 PM   #6
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Edi, This is very interesting, but the alien accent is still very dificult to understand. The story is very good, the way you have written it you want to read more. You want to know what is going to happen so you keep reading,that is a hard thing to do, keeping your readers interested in what you are writing. You have that very important part of writing down pat. It is just the alien part of your story that needs a little work, but your alien is fantastic, and the way that you discribe it.
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Old Feb 3 2006, 04:56 AM   #7
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the accent's very hard to work out- it used to be alot worse!
as the story progresses I'll have less and less bad english and more and more shehshanan as the main character spends more and more time there, and Sahoo's english probably will improve-it's been pretty hard to work out as there's the physical problems of a character with a long beak trying to speak a strange language! especially as I decided that she'd have trouble with the sharper sounds like t, one of the more common letters!
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Old Feb 4 2006, 01:53 AM   #8
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Edi, I just reread the whole story for the second time. I think this thing is great, not just good. This story is good enough to be a short in one of those collections of sci-fi shorts. Keep going when you get some time, I would really like to read what happens. The alien's talking is getting a little easier to read, but that is the only problem, and she does sound truly alien. I will wait until you get time from your studies, but I really want to read more.
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Old Feb 4 2006, 10:51 AM   #9
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I'm going to do a little later -I've had an IDEA!
AND a way to get past the general alien voice problem-but not for Sahoo personally!
I won't give too much away-mainly cos my stuff does tend to deviate from its orignial course!
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Old Feb 24 2006, 12:25 PM   #10
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Edi this is the best story that I have read in so long other than Anne's. You should really think about seeing if you could get this published. I love it, and please don't stop writing it. I don't care how many pages it is, this is just "GREAT" and I mean it. I only found one spelling error, but I was reading so fast, I don't remember where it was, I will try to remember to write it down when I read it again.
Don't leave me hanging to know what he had in his hands and was opening ???
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Old Feb 24 2006, 12:30 PM   #11
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Edi, I forgot to tell you about the drawing, that was great too ! ! ! I love seeing what the author had in mind when they are seeing it in their head. The drawing was great.

This whole thing is just fantastic, you are a marvel. You need to grow up to be a full-blown published writer. I will be there ready to get a signed copy of your first published book.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Feb 24 2006, 03:53 PM   #12
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Very good story, Edi. Sorry I didn't comment earlier - hadn't had time to read through the whole thing.
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Old Feb 25 2006, 12:36 AM   #13
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Edi, This is so great, I had to copy it down, so now I have it on 24 pages with the great picture.
I am greedy, I like it illistrated too, you have us on another cliff hanger, so I can hardly wait to read more.
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Old Feb 25 2006, 08:05 AM   #14
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You'll have to wait till Monday for more- if I have an internet connection- otherwise I'll have to try to find a way to sneak on here when I'm in lab.
I have tried once to get something published-not this ,it is nowhere near finished, but a fantasy which I erronously (sp) described as young adult- meaning that its adult fiction appealing more to people in their late teens rather than adult, adult, (definitely not a 13 year old's story its all war, death, revenge, relationships, and subtle betrayal etc) but the publishers decided they weren't publishing anymore young adult fiction- to me proving they hadn't got what I meant.
oh well, I've been tidying it up, and I'll try again some time I haven't much time at the moment!
I'm glad you like it- most of my stuff rarely gets further than Mum who spends all her time correcting my grammar- tho she hasn't read this one, I haven't had time or printer to print it off!
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Old Feb 25 2006, 01:32 PM   #15
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Don't worry, I will be here ready and waiting to read it when ever you get to it. I have my printer all ready for the next chapter.

Your studies are much more important right now anyways.

I do think that at some point you should keep trying to get published, your writing, not only this, is just fantastic. You have a real tallent for writing, and I for one would love to see you do something with it.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Mar 10 2006, 01:25 PM   #16
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This was really suspencful, I loved it. I will copy it and put it with the rest. I can't wait to see what you do with Stroud, and the doctors next !!! ?
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Mar 10 2006, 01:29 PM   #17
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well that last bit's sort of introducing what's happening next...
haven't finished that bit yet though! perhaps I will next week!
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Old Mar 10 2006, 11:28 PM   #18
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I'll be here, waiting for what ever is going to happen to poor old Stroud. I am already wondering if he is going to get to be with Doctor Sergeant, or if something more sinister is going on with her and Sahoo.

Do you know what is going to happen, or are you just winging it as you go along ??? How did you think this all up??? How do you decide what is going to happen next ???
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Mar 12 2006, 12:22 PM   #19
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I know the last paragraph, I've known that from the beginning, but apart from that anything could happen, well, within reason, I sort of have an agenda and odd scenes in my mind. It sorts of flows, I think I thought most of it up, as I thought that is sf there are all these people flickering in and out of hibernation with only psycological problems, if any. I wanted to explore the effects further. The name Gleick Stroud came from the authors of 2 textbooks I used last year.
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Old Mar 13 2006, 01:43 PM   #20
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Oh goodie, is he off on an adventure ??? Is Shaoo, and Sregeant going to go with him ???
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Old Mar 13 2006, 05:06 PM   #21
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you'll have to wait and see...

I'll write some more this week. be warned twisty plot ahead! (hopefully)
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Old Mar 14 2006, 11:15 PM   #22
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Ok, but I am wearing out a small part of my carpet waiting for new installment to this story. The worst part of any of this, is how long it take the computer to get to the next piece of it. Other than that like I have said many times before, this is G R E A T ! ! ! (Write more P L E A S E )( but I will wait for more, and more, and more, etc............................................... .()
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Mar 15 2006, 03:30 PM   #23
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I'm writing some now, but it's near the beginning of the chapter, however I can write quite quickly!
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Old Mar 17 2006, 01:17 PM   #24
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Thank you Edi, I have copied all of the new pages, and am going to read them with my breakfast. Thank you for all of you hard work, and I am glad that you can write not only fast but wonderfully. I will let you know how is goes in a little while.......I'll be back soon !!!
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Old Mar 30 2006, 12:58 AM   #25
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Fantastic as usual, I love this I hope that he gets them as his crew. I just marvel at how easy this all reads, and how interesting the character are. You still have my complete attention. I have probably read most of the story twice already. I am adding this page to the rest. M O R E, pleeeeeeeease !

Like usual I will wait patiently for the next page( chew, chew, chew)
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Mar 30 2006, 04:48 PM   #26
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No problem, I will be here pacing and pacing, and counting the flowers on the wall-paper that Cheryl put up in here, hey don't worry about me I brought snacks, :drumstick and a comfortable chair to nap in.

Seriously, don't hurry, I know that you have been studying very hard, and that is the most important for you to think about.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old Apr 7 2006, 12:01 PM   #27
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YEAH, I was hoping that you would keep them together some how. This was just a wonderful little new bit, I can't wait to see what you have in mind for them, once they are on board the new ship...........thanks for taking time from your Easter vacation.........More, More, More..................P L E A S E ! ! !
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Old Apr 9 2006, 09:01 AM   #28
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I have 2 more chapters almost ready- trouble is my data pebn is in use at the mo! will post soon!
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Old Apr 9 2006, 09:20 PM   #29
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No problem Edi, I am ready when you are. I have moved it a small fridge, and a drawing table, so that I can keep busy while I am waiting for you to finish writing.
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Old Apr 11 2006, 01:32 PM   #30
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Thank you, for getting some writing done on your hard earned vacation. As always it is great, to read more of the adventure.
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Old Apr 19 2006, 01:07 PM   #31
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Wonderful, I had picked this up the other day, and I thought that I had left you a message saying that I was going to read it later, and I did. I just now got a minute to let you know that is was very good as usual. Thank you for taking some of your vacation break to write some for us.
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Old Apr 26 2006, 12:55 AM   #32
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This was very cute, and made me want to either take a nap or go drink some real coffee. You have certianly got the characters nicely slotted into there places. This is very interesting read, and I thank you for writing it.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle

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Old Apr 28 2006, 12:06 PM   #33
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This was a wonderful extra bit, I love how you have the personalities growing, and getting more complicated with there interactions with each other. I am getting to know them so well. Everytime I read about Strouds innards, my stomach hurts.
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Old Apr 28 2006, 07:30 PM   #34
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That was short, but so very funny, and now we are off and away on our adventure.........YEAH !
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Old Apr 30 2006, 03:05 PM   #35
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I should have just copied this down, but I am so interested to know what is going to happen, I posponed my breakfast to read this(while drinking my coffee naturally)through, and see what was happening. I am so glad that I did, a mystery YEAH, I love it. This is a wonderful story, and I am so eager to read more.........and see who did it, and why ??? Thank you, thank you, thank you.

P.S. I have a whole notebook devoted just to your story now, all in plastic pages.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old May 3 2006, 12:32 PM   #36
Lady Maelin
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Fantastic, I am sitting on the edge of my seat............MORE Please. this is so exciting, I think that my husband is going to read this also........your fans are growing larger all the time.
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The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old May 3 2006, 01:18 PM   #37
edith
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My lab report has to be in tomorrow, after tomorrow, I'll have a little less stress.
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Old May 3 2006, 07:33 PM   #38
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Go and study, that is much more important, I will be here you know that. I will gladly wait for more.
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"To the Horsehead Nebula and back we shall make beautiful music"..."Together!"

The stories of childhood leave an indelible impression,and their author always has a niche in the temple of memory from which the image is never cut out to be thrown on the rubbish heap of things that are outgrown and outlived........Howard Pyle
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Old May 4 2006, 08:36 PM   #39
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I recommend you start a feedback thread and ask a host to move non-story posts there!
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Old May 5 2006, 04:30 AM   #40
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ok!
no worries will do!
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