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Old Oct 9 2006, 10:27 PM   #1
Moonlady
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Due to family troubles, I am going back to work.

I am applying for the Library Technician job at the boys school district. It would be the perfect job for our situation. Please keep me in your thoughts, prayers, chants, however you wish someone good luck for it. Thanks.
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Old Oct 9 2006, 11:16 PM   #2
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Will do! I'd love that job! (I think a lot of us here would!)
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Old Oct 9 2006, 11:23 PM   #3
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Good luck with the job interview!
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Old Oct 9 2006, 11:37 PM   #4
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I'll be praying for the job interview and family troubles.
(((((((Dena))))))
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Old Oct 10 2006, 03:47 AM   #5
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Digits crossed!
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Old Oct 10 2006, 04:04 AM   #6
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Good luck with everything!
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Old Oct 10 2006, 04:13 AM   #7
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Will do and good luck, the job sounds interesting indeed! Well, actually any job with the word "library" in it would sound interesting
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Old Oct 10 2006, 06:01 AM   #8
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Good Luck, DL....

and if you get THAT one, may your luck rub off on ME...I am putting in for a Teacher's Assistant at Dancer's school.
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Old Oct 10 2006, 12:33 PM   #9
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Dena, I will keep you in my thoughts, and hope that all of your troubles end very soon in a good and helpful manner. I will send you tons of possitive thought for you to get this very lovely job. Keep smiling, I hope we hear good news from you soon.
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Old Oct 10 2006, 02:49 PM   #10
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Best of luck with the job interview!
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Old Oct 10 2006, 07:48 PM   #11
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Winging my good luck thoughts your way.
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Old Oct 11 2006, 12:10 AM   #12
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Thank you everyone. It will be around two weeks before I hear back about the examination. I have to take an examination before any interviews or such. I will keep everyone updated.

Thanks for the hugs too.

My oldest is being tested for High Function Autism/Asperger's Syndrome at our regional center. If he has it, which I think he does, I will receive help from the center.

Our family nightmare will last awhile but it will end eventually and I am going one day at a time.

Thanks again.
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Old Oct 12 2006, 04:00 PM   #13
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The best to you each and every day Dena, I will hold you in my thoughts, and hopefully all of this will come out the best that it possibly can for you and your loved ones.
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Old Oct 12 2006, 04:34 PM   #14
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Best of luck and excellent Wishes heading your way. I hope that you find answers to what you need and that the answers will give you great direction for the future!

(((((( GOOD LUCK & HUGS ))))))))))
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Old Oct 12 2006, 06:53 PM   #15
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{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
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Old Oct 12 2006, 11:56 PM   #16
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Thanks for the "hugs" and wishes everyone.

A friend from college came and spent the day with me. She made me lunch and dinner and just helped out. It meant alot to me and the boys especially because they love playing with her son.

Ds#1 met his counselor and they connected so he will be seeing her every Thursday about our "nightmare."

I finally found someone for ds#2 -- we will meet her in person on Monday -- I hope they connect.

Ds#1 has Asperger's Syndrome and will be receiving the services we need to help him learn to function in society via our local regional center. As much as we would love for our children to not have "special needs" this diagnoses comes as a relief. I have know for years that when we spoke we were not connecting... I had know for years that he did not read social clues correctly and no matter how I tried to help him it did not work. I was starting to believe it was me despite what friends and family said. Now I know that his brain is wired differently and I will have to learn a whole new way to communicate with him, but he will also receive classes in social training and such so he can learn what children normally learn through observation and play.

On the "nightmare" front, I keep plugging forward and look forward to the day when it is over. Our family will be dealing with the repercussions for years to come, but once it is over we will be able to have some resolution and move forward til then we are in "waiting."

Thanks again everyone.
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Old Oct 13 2006, 08:19 AM   #17
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Take care :hugs:

My friends son was diagnosed as Aspergers over the summer. He is just 9 and it is in social situations that he is finding the most difficulty. Like your son her has sensory issues as well. He will get some special needs assistance as well at school especially during break times.
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Old Oct 13 2006, 11:17 PM   #18
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Dena, at least you have a good direction to move your family in to try and help end the nightmare...hopefully it will help all of you to become closer with true understanding and love.
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Old Oct 15 2006, 10:29 PM   #19
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Thank you LM and Clamball.

DS#1 had his first session and they connected so he will see her every Thursday at 4:30 P.M. I have not received the paperwork from the regional center on his Asperger's but I was told it could take til the beginning of Nov. I hope not.

Ds#2 has his first session this Monday. I hope he connects with his counselor too. Then I will have completed one of many tasks.

Our "nightmare" is still going but I knew it would not be over quickly, but I can hope. The earliest it will be over is the beginning of Nov and that will be a miracle if it happens.

I still need to turn in my sub application. Life has a way of getting in the way. For the first time since the boys started at their school our afterschool program is closed. I need to put the boys on the waiting list and look for another program in case I start work before the boys make it into our school's program.

Again thank you to everyone for your hugs, prayers, encouragements, chants, etc.
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Old Oct 21 2006, 06:44 PM   #20
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Ds#1 had been ignoring me and reacting with anger to me since the "nightmare" began. Ds#1 has eased up on me since his last visit with his counselor. I had left her a message about it before they met and we briefly talked. Even if this "nightmare" ends soon the repercussions will be years.

Ds#2 is imitating his brother at times, but so far I have been able to quickly stop him because he is imitating and does not have Asperger's, but it can be frustrating. Thankfully, I have been able to remain calm which helps greatly.

My mom is here with me for the next week or two to help. I am back on Klonopin because the Zoloft was not helping with sleep. After going off it, I would wake up every two hours for no reason plus once the house was quiet I would fall apart. I could not do anything. I was overwhelmed with deep sadness. Together I can function during the day, stay calm not feel like crying every second, function at night when it is quiet and do the stuff that must be done when the boys are asleep, and sleep for 6 sometimes 8 hours at a time. However, when I wake up now it is to one of the two boys. Ds#1 has had at least 4 nightmares since the "nightmare" began.

On a happy note: ds#1 received the "game ball" at last practice for never giving up and playing to his fullest during the last game even though they lost. He was so happy. He has an awesome coach who emphasizes playing for fun and lets everyone play all the different positions.

Thank you everyone for your support and hugs again.
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Old Oct 21 2006, 08:25 PM   #21
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The coach sounds like a wonderful person! Thanks for keeping us updated. I hope things continue to improve for you all.
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Old Oct 21 2006, 09:03 PM   #22
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The coach is, Sandi.
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Old Oct 23 2006, 05:14 PM   #23
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DL, good luck, and best wishes!! Hope everything goes/went well.
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Old Oct 24 2006, 06:21 PM   #24
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Where's the crossed fingers smilie when you need it.

Good luck with the job Dena, thinking of you and the boys often.

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Old Oct 24 2006, 07:36 PM   #25
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Dena, I hope that your Mother being there with you will help ease the stress that you are going through. Perhaps your boys councelors will be able to teach them how to slow down the anger, that they are feeling, and show them a different way to release it. They have learned so much in the past few years about some of these kinds of problems...hopefully one of these will help a little. Hang in there girl...I will be thinking about you and sending you tons of good thoughts.

I hope that you can find a way to get some decent sleep soon, maybe you could grab a nap at odd times, and that might will help a little too.
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Old Oct 27 2006, 12:29 AM   #26
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DS#1 is losing control -- he is throwing things, hitting, kicking, biting. I was hoping we could weather it out with therapy alone, but it seems that we will have to put him on temporary medication for his and our safety until he is able to work out his anger, hurt, etc. Keep him and me in our prayers, chants, etc. for wisdom and strength.

I don't know when the "nightmare" that has caused this will end, but when it does I will let everyone know.

I am hanging in there. I know that when the boys are taking care of and feel safe enough to let me go away for a couple of days that I will have to go away with a close friend (I don't know if it would be good for me to do it alone) and let out all the feelings that I am keeping locked away so I can be calm and focused. Even so, I am scared that once I let them out I won't be able to find my calm again.

Lady Maelin, my mom has been a source of comfort and help that I would never have expected. I am grateful that she is here and she will be here until this "nightmare" ends.
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Old Oct 27 2006, 08:26 AM   #27
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((((((((((Dena)))))))))))

Keep hanging, and know the good thoughts and prayers of this site are hanging with you.
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Old Oct 27 2006, 09:48 AM   #28
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Dena, you know you're not alone. Just look around at all the wonderful well wishes, thoughts and prayers coming from all of us. Keep us all with you in your heart and mind everyday and maybe that will help just a little.
You and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers daily. {{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}
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Old Oct 27 2006, 10:39 AM   #29
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I really hope that things get better for you soon!
Perhaps it would be good to do something to let out all the dammed up emotions before they burst out. Do you do any sports or writing?
I know I take out anger and frustration either on characters in stories or by doing something.
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Old Oct 27 2006, 08:52 PM   #30
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Edith, I write, but this rl "nightmare" has kept me going so much that I have been unable to do any writing, but I am hoping to change that soon.

Thank you everyone else for reminding me that I am not alone. Sometimes it feels that way but then I usually come by. Thanks again.

Ds#1 and I go to the Child Psychiatrist (sp) tonight at 7PM. I will let you know how it goes.
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Old Oct 27 2006, 11:39 PM   #31
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Dena, Sometimes Mothers really can surprise you, and I am so glad to read that your Mother is there and helping you so very much.
Take advantage of your Mother being there for you, talk to her, she might surprise you again with how willing she is to listen to you, and what you have kept inside.
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Old Oct 30 2006, 11:17 PM   #32
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Ds#1 is on anti-depressants. Within one day of him being on them we had the biggest melt down. A friend had to come over to help. In the end, he finally broke down and spoke. He has been severly depressed since this "nightmare" began.

My husband was falsely accused and arrested in front of the boys. The police terrorized my boys (I am not being dramatic). Ds#1 became "passive suicidal" after what the police said. His meltdowns were because he did not understand why he "did not have the will to live (his words) since they took dad away." He also said that "he did not want to live if dad was not coming home." I explained to him that we are doing everything we can to bring dad home -- we had to choose between hiring a lawyer and bail. Keep us in your prayers that this "nightmare" will end soon and my husband can return home. After he open up to my friend, she asked him to share with me when he did, I said, "Baby, why did you not tell me?" He said, "I did not want to make you more sad." I went on to reassure him that I want him to always know he can talk to me.

He will be seeing his counselor twice a week instead of once and will stay on the meds til the counselor and psychiatrist agree he can go off. My poor baby has never known depression until this moment.

When this "nightmare" is over, I plan to go to the ACLU and whoever else I need to to learn how to write a bill that holds cops accountable for what they say to children. My husband is not guilty, but even if he was guilty they had no right to almost "destroy" my son. I will work until there is a law holding cops accountable even if it means they are arrested for abuse because that is what they did...they mentally abused my son... they charged and found my husband guilty without a trial and treated my son as nothing but a way to get more evidence.

I have since learn that what happen to us is not unusual. Talking with the school nurse about it she shared about a friend who had the same thing done to her kids by the cops. This needs to stop.

On to the job.. I have not heard anything yet, but I will finally turn in that sub application tomorrow.
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Old Oct 31 2006, 03:16 AM   #33
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Dena - holding you and the family in my mind

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Old Oct 31 2006, 04:07 AM   #34
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hope everything gets better- at least the anti-depressents are working!
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Old Oct 31 2006, 04:36 AM   #35
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Dena you take good care of your children :hugs: and hopefully you will be reunited with your husband soon.

Arresting people in front of their children is nothing new, it happens here in Ireland as well. There is a tribunal of inquiry going on at present over the wrongful arrest and conviction of a man for a murder. He was arrented while he was taking his children to school and one of the police officers who was present at the arrest told the tribunal of inquiry that it was the worst police decision, making the arrest in front of children, he had seen in his 30 years working as a police officer.

One news story
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Old Oct 31 2006, 05:38 AM   #36
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People should NOT be arrested in front of their children unless there is NO other option. Hell, I remember being ASKED by a police officer to take a man's children out of the office before they cuffed him for shoplifting in the store I worked at. The mother had already been called and was on her way to pick them up.
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Old Oct 31 2006, 08:10 AM   #37
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I'm so glad he finally opened up about it, as that's clearly a key to getting him appropriate counseling. I'm so sorry for what you're going through, it's just unbelievable. And having to make the choice between hiring a lawyer and bail is horrible, though I think you made the right one. Will it go to trial soon? We're all supposed to have the right to a speedy trial, and it seems like this has been going on for a while now.

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Originally Posted by Dragonlady View Post
they charged and found my husband guilty without a trial and treated my son as nothing but a way to get more evidence.
If they were truly seeking information from him, you may already have cause for suing the police, as I thought children were never to be questioned without parental consent.
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Old Oct 31 2006, 01:36 PM   #38
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Thank you everyone.

Cheryl, we do not know how long it will be or if it will go to trial. I will let everyone know when our family is reunited.

I am in the process of finding out if I have cause to sue the police; however, it will have to wait til my husband's case is resolved.
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Old Oct 31 2006, 05:42 PM   #39
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It might help in court that they bungled the arrest and affected your son!
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Old Nov 1 2006, 12:08 PM   #40
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Dena, I am so glad that you son has finally been able to open up with some of his pain. I will hope that this is the start of his complete healing.

The injustice that your family has suffered at the hands of the people that are suppose to be there to protect you is unbelievably sad. I hope that the scars that this leaves on your family will fade with time. Lets all hope that your husband will be released soon, and that your familys sadness will come to and end.
Your story is one that we should all listen to carefully and remember when it comes time to make the changes that are needed, for some kind of law that will protect our children from this kind of abuse.
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