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Old Aug 19 2013, 03:24 AM   #1
michiev
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Default All the places we will go.

I'm Michelle, Maximillian's daughter. He used to post on these forums all the time and he was also a graphics artist, He really loved Anne's books.. Especially the Pern series and The Talent Series.

My dad was diagnosed with Stage IV Non Hodgkins Lymphoma in the tail end of 2011 and the very beginning of 2012, At first we didn't know that it was cancer.. But we found out very soon after that - I had heard the term "Lymphoma" only once before, when my best friend's mother was diagnosed with it in 2008. My father spent a year and a half in and out of different hospitals and nursing homes, He went through chemotherapy and different drug treatments, His spirits were always high and he always tried to make the nurses and doctors smile, And they did - he was everyone's favorite patient, Everyone's. Things got better, and then worse and then better again, nothing was really ever at a standstill and more things just started going wrong - He was diagnosed with Kidney Failure and he had blood infection after blood infection, going to all these places and seeing all these things happening to my father was (at the time I thought) the hardest thing I would ever have to do, But things started looking up in March of this year.. He came home.. He finally came home after being gone over a year! We celebrated, but he had to stay on the hospital bed.. nurses and physical therapists came in every day to work with him and adjust his medication, he would need an ambulance to come pick him up three days out of the week for his Dialysis treatments.. But he was happy.

We met some nice people, that was one of the things that kept me sane during this entire ordeal, That the people we met were interesting - every nurse, every doctor, and every person we came into contact with was someone special and they did all they could to take care of my father, I remember wandering the halls of each new place, strange in so many ways because I never really thought I'd be here - you never think you're going to end up here of all places, But I did. I always had my camera on every moment so I wouldn't miss a thing, not one memory, not one minute, I think in a lot of ways this brought everyone closer together and I'm grateful for that - but I wish it didn't have to end up like this for us to be a close knit family, at least the people on his side.

My brother and I would always walk to the hospital to visit with our dad, It wasn't very far away (Just under 30 minutes) and it was nice to get fresh air.. I would always take photographs of the places I had seen a million times before and my brother would always complain about it, We would step into the hospital doors that we've stepped through many times before, passing by all those familiar halls and faces until we finally came to the end of the line, My dad's rooms, No matter what floor he was on.. Was always at the end of the hall. I never liked when he had room-mates to be honest, I think it was annoying because we never had any privacy and I always knew my dad was a bit of a hermit in his own ways, He was actually a bit agoraphobic when he lived here at home, And sometimes the people in the next bed weren't all there, mentally (Especially at the nursing homes). It's unsettling to hear people screaming things you don't understand when you're in a long winding hospital hall.

I remember the fun times we had as well, The little family gathering's we would have in the small rooms, people laughing and talking - his sister, his mother, and sometimes his brothers, One person who would always come and see him - never failing to come there was my mother, she always called him and always came to the hospital, Even when everyone else was too busy, and sometimes people just couldn't be "bothered" to go. No matter where he was he would always watch TV, He kind of got spoiled by the cable tv that we didn't have at home, He watched a lot of different shows and movies and he always had it on even when he wasn't watching it - Just for the noise I suppose.

I probably have enough photographs of the past year and a half to fill a novel, I probably have enough memories to fill two.. I don't want this to be the longest thing in the world, I understand that a lot of people knew my dad on here, He interacted with a lot of people and had fun on the different threads.. My dad's condition worsened this month, Getting better and then suddenly taking a turn for the worst.. August 3rd, we found out he had a stroke and went unresponsive, but then he was better.. blinking and looking at people, noticing they were there, 2am august 4th, My mother came downstairs and told us that his pulse had stopped, She went to the hospital - She had to walk because we don't have a car and she couldn't find her money for a cab.. My brother and I stayed home, because we couldn't process it, and I don't think we would have been able to handle it emotionally.. The longest night of our lives began with a phone call, My mother called back a little bit later only saying "He's gone. I tried so hard to make it but he's gone."

My dad passed away on April 4th, 2013 at 2:36am.
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Old Aug 19 2013, 05:24 AM   #2
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Default Re: All the places we will go.

Dear Michelle, I am so sorry to hear this. It's such a shame when people are gone in far too early a stage. You and your family have my deepest sympathy.
I indeed have read your father's postings with pleasure and always had to smile about the special sign offs he used. He was a special man, a good and competent artist who was never afraid to share his opinion, take criticism and help out others with a bit of advice but at the same time was never condescending.

I wish you and your family strength to deal with the loss and if you are a believer then think on this: he might be closer to one (and probably a lot more) of his favourite writers now than he ever was or felt.

Virtual hugs for you
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Old Aug 19 2013, 06:59 AM   #3
Kath
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Thank you for thinking of us here and telling us about your Dad in your own time of indescribable loss. I hope the memories of the good times buoy you and your family up in the bleak moments.

Big, BIG hugs, to you and yours.
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Old Aug 19 2013, 10:34 AM   #4
mara
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I am so sorry for your loss Michelle.
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Old Aug 19 2013, 06:49 PM   #5
kevia
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Default Re: All the places we will go.

Thank you for sharing. I'm so sorry.
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Old Aug 20 2013, 10:12 AM   #6
Allen
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Default Re: All the places we will go.

Michelle, I've been trying to think of something to say that doesn't sound like just an empty "sorry", but I can't really come up with anything.

I know what it's like to lose your father. In my rather limited time here, I don't remember your dad, but after reading your post, I feel that it's my loss that I didn't know him. It sounds like he was a very brave soul, to face this final test with such courage.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I hope you can find some closure and release by having shared your thoughts with us.

May he rest in peace.
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Old Aug 21 2013, 12:10 AM   #7
granath
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Thank you for taking the time and sharing your memories with us.

May he rest in peace.
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Old Aug 21 2013, 06:11 PM   #8
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It may have been before my time Michelle as I find I have difficulty remembering ever encountering him here at MoM, but it is always sad to hear of the loss of a Forumite but I'm sorry to hear of you and your families loss.

R.I.P Max, and may we meet again sometime in the place where no shadows fall.
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Old Aug 22 2013, 01:11 PM   #9
mawra
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I remember reading some of his posts. He will be missed.
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Old Aug 23 2013, 05:24 PM   #10
GinnyStar
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I was have a computer problems, but I'm sorry to hear of your father passing RIP Max. Thank you for letting us know about his passing
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Old Aug 31 2013, 05:08 AM   #11
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Thank you for taking the time to share and let us know.Thoughts and prayers going your way.
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