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Old Jan 19 2017, 06:12 AM   #241
vyon
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Kiwi or British?
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Old Jan 19 2017, 08:31 AM   #242
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

I'll let you two sort that out. Meanwhile I'll find another machine from which to get a roman chariot . . . .
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Old Jan 19 2017, 04:46 PM   #243
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

I'm not going down the Monty Python path.
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Old Jan 19 2017, 06:04 PM   #244
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Why not?

Gets fed up waiting, barges to the front of the queue and inserts a swimmer's noseclip . . .
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 20 2017, 04:58 PM   #245
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

There's a loud splashing noise, John Williams music plays, a loud, feminine sounding shriek and P'ter reappears as a Shark Fin is seen moving across the top of the machine.


*Inserts a SCUBA tank*
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Old Jan 21 2017, 04:04 PM   #246
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out come Hans and Lotte Hass complete with cine camera.

Inserts a shackle pin.
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 21 2017, 06:45 PM   #247
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out swings Flashman and Bob HURRAH!!!


*Inserts a golden rivet*
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Old Jan 22 2017, 08:22 AM   #248
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pops a worried looking Ben Dover.

*Inserts a mono-molecular seal*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 22 2017, 05:07 PM   #249
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps young Rom with the deed to 100 Tesipates of land

*Inserts a barrel of Bloodwine*
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Old Jan 22 2017, 06:20 PM   #250
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

It reappears; chased by the entire 'Bloodhoard'.

After things calm back down . . .

*Inserts (with difficulty) a WW2 troop glider.*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 23 2017, 05:21 PM   #251
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the Oxford and Buckinhamshire Regiment looking for a Bridge


*Inserts a steam whistle*
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Old Jan 24 2017, 05:39 AM   #252
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out chugs Thomas the Tank Engine.

Inserts half a crown.
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Old Jan 24 2017, 06:18 AM   #253
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes half a queen (torn playing card)

*inserts a 'joker'*
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"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 24 2017, 08:22 PM   #254
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps Mark Hamill chortling evilly


*Inserts a two headed coin*
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Old Jan 25 2017, 04:29 AM   #255
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

A marble bust of Janus lands on your foot.

*Inserts a pinch of fairy dust*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 25 2017, 04:03 PM   #256
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Tinkerbell emerges and sneezes


*Inserts two marbles*
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Old Jan 25 2017, 05:30 PM   #257
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

I wondered what had happened to them, I knew I'd lost them.

*Inserts a supermarket trolley token*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 26 2017, 04:47 PM   #258
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a Trolly that will constantly pull to the left


*Inserts a Republic Credit*
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Old Jan 26 2017, 05:43 PM   #259
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out walks a wookie

*Inserts a Darsek*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 27 2017, 06:12 PM   #260
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps a Klingon Accountant who growls, takes it back at Bat'leth point and reenters the machine.


*Inserts a vial of Ketracel White*
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Old Jan 28 2017, 04:58 PM   #261
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a cohort of Jem'Hadar suffering withdrawal symptoms.

After managing to evade them *inserts the Doctor's universal screwdriver*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 28 2017, 09:32 PM   #262
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Quote:
Originally Posted by P'ter View Post
Out comes a cohort of Jem'Hadar suffering withdrawal symptoms.

After managing to evade them *inserts the Doctor's universal screwdriver*
Out vial of Ketracel White* which heps the One PS Hard to recall what they are coalled havenn't watch much DS9 or rec all the raching from the books.
In come a Y shape tool to fix broken links, Star Trek Stargazer = Pocket Books.
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Old Jan 30 2017, 07:18 PM   #263
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes an angry Ferengi


*Inserts a Plasma Grenade*
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Old Jan 31 2017, 02:09 PM   #264
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The vending machine explodes!

Have to find a new one . . . *inserts a used puncture patch*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Jan 31 2017, 04:54 PM   #265
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the leader of the Tour De France


*Inserts a Tractor tyre*
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Old Feb 1 2017, 01:09 PM   #266
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out pours a running track made of kibbled-up tyres.

*inserts a slice of Pythagorean pi*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 1 2017, 05:07 PM   #267
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a square root


*Inserts a silver spoon*
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Old Feb 1 2017, 06:13 PM   #268
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the Honourable Algernon Blank-Hyphen-de Blank with the King's pattern handle of said spoon protruding from his oracular orifice.

*Inserts a Bowie Knife*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 3 2017, 03:09 PM   #269
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes the whole Cherokee Nation


*Inserts a Penny Whistle*
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Old Feb 3 2017, 05:54 PM   #270
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out comes Whistler's grandma, Penny, whistling.

*inserts a broken MP3 player*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 4 2017, 06:57 AM   #271
vyon
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a cracked note

Inserts the new 3 metre high traffic light that is annoying me by glaring in my upstairs bedroom window.
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Old Feb 4 2017, 02:33 PM   #272
Kugai
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Now Reading: Whatever takes my fancy at the moment
Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

there is tha sound of screeching tyres, blaring horns and a loud crash and a tyre rolls out of the machine.


*Inserts a copy of 2000AD*
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Old Feb 4 2017, 03:27 PM   #273
P'ter
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

out comes Judge Dread (Technicolor version!)

*inserts unwanted grandchild*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 5 2017, 06:45 AM   #274
vyon
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

The machine chokes, gurgles, and spits him out again - along with every toy that got lost down the back of the couch or under the bed.

Inserts broken vacuum cleaner
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Old Feb 5 2017, 06:13 PM   #275
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps James Dyson who hands you the latest model


*Inserts a Washing Machine Token*
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Old Feb 6 2017, 06:49 AM   #276
P'ter
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a pile of beautifully ironed washing: unfortunately none of it's yours.

*Inserts a broken pencil*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 6 2017, 05:21 PM   #277
Kugai
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps John Wick

*Inserts a Gold Coin*
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Old Feb 8 2017, 08:11 AM   #278
P'ter
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out come 9 & 3/4 bags of chocolate money (the tenth bag tore in the machine).

*Inserts student travel pass*
__________________
"Truth is stranger than fiction: fiction has to make sense." Leo Rosten.

"When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
C. S. Lewis

"I find television very educational. Whenever somebody switches it on I go in the other room and read a book." (attributed to Groucho Marx)

The Pedants are revolting! (against bad grammar)
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Old Feb 8 2017, 06:19 PM   #279
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out steps the College Dean


*Inserts a Miter Board*
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Old Feb 9 2017, 01:46 AM   #280
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Default Re: The Universal Vending Machine

Out comes a heavy duty tool kit.

*Inserts a chunk of naquadah*
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