Game: The Universal Vending Machine

[Kugai]

Out comes Elanor Roosevelt

*Insertsa set of Leg Braces*

[P'ter]

Out comes Teddy Roosevelt in his wheelchair.

Inserts a copy of the Munich Agreement.

[Kugai]

It was FDR who 'had a Wheelchair and Leg Braces P'ter


Out comes Stalin and Churchill glowering.


*Inserts a KV-2 Tank model*

[P'ter]

Out comes a handwritten card stating (in Russian) "Stupid development: too slow, too heavy, useless turret! Try again -- harder. I.S."

*Inserts a model of Hedwig.*

[Kugai]

Out comes The Angry Inch

*inserts a Spinal Tap CD*




Oh, and KV-2 Hand or Stalin

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acY8H79ykcw

[P'ter]

(I thought it was the KV-2 that was Stalin's Hand?)

Out come Patrick Macnee and Anjelica Huston to dance a jive.

*Inserts a video cassette of episode one: the Rock Follies.*

[Kugai]

Out comes The Rolling Stones


*Inserts a Pirate Flag*

[P'ter]

A tsunami of water precedes the arrival of a sailing dinghy crewed by Nancy and Peggy Blackett.

*Inserts a jelly baby*

[Kugai]

A minature model of the TARDIS wrapped in an extraordinary long scarf emerges.

**nserts a Flux Capacitor*

[P'ter]

A full-size working version of the DeLorean time machine rolls out.

* Inserts Trag's sonic cutter.*

[Kugai]

Out comes Killashandra with a crate of Black to install


*Inserts a sack of Firestone*

[P'ter]

Out fly a fair of flaming firelizards.

*Inserts a bag of klah bark.*

[Kugai]

Out comes a mug of Klah at McDonalds Temperature


*Inserts a Law Suit*

[P'ter]

Out comes a lawyer wearing said suit m'lud.

*inserts a footnote*

[vyon]

It comes out again, yelling, "I don't want to be a forgotten footnote in history, I want to be a heading!"

So you insert it, headfirst, back into the machine ...

[Kugai]

Out comes the RSPCF to fine you $200


*Inserts a Copper Kettle*

[P'ter]

The machine starts heaving and shuddering reminiscent of a woman giving birth to an elephant; and eventually extrudes a complete tea-shop.

*Inserts a large dose of Ergot.*

[Kugai]

OUt comes a large serving of Mushroom Soup

*Inserts a Gnome*

[P'ter]

The machine makes a series of 'goblin' noises and ejects Fairy Nuff.

*Inserts a firelizard shell*

[Kugai]

There is a gout of flame out of the slot and out flits a Bronze Firelizard.


*Inserts a set of Pan Pipes*

[P'ter]

Out pops Bromius saying "Ta. I forgot where I'd left them." The only problem is he says it in Hellenic Greek.

*Inserts an Eolian Harp.*

[vyon]

Out comes a gust of wind and a lot of twanging sounds

Inserts a set of wind chimes ...

[P'ter]

Out comes one of those luxurious deckchairs with arms with drinks rests; in one of which is a large dry martini.

*Inserts a plan of MoM Headquarters.*

[Kugai]

Out comes Jim Phelps who takes them back with a gentlemanly "I need those thank you."


*Inserts a picture of Marten Landau*

[P'ter]

The machine delivers an ancient videotape of "Pork Chop Hill".

*Inserts a reel of magnetic tape containing a recording of "Monday, Monday"*

[Kugai]

It ejects a Cassette Tape of the Disco song 'Thank God It's Friday'


*Inserts an Earth, Wind and Fire Record*

[P'ter]

The machine delivers a large sample of the missing fourth element.

*After drying off, inserts a recording by Wet Wet Wet.*

[Kugai]

Out comes Simon Cowell to ofer criticism

*Inserts a picture of Paula Abdul*

[P'ter]

The machine spits out the cast of Loose Women.

*Inserts a copy of "Blood, Bodies & Families in Early Modern England".*

[Kugai]

Out steps Mrs Becham looking flustered.



*Inserts a Gold Bar*

[P'ter]

The vending machine delivers a large selection of alcoholic drinks: and then retakes them saying, "sorry; wrong type of bar".

*Inserts a silver tea-tray.*

[Kugai]

Out comes a Bone China Tea Service with a pot of Darjeeling and Lemon and Honey


*Inserts a feathered Indian Headdress *

[P'ter]

The machine sneezes violently several times (allergic to feathers) and returns the headdress in its component parts.

*Inserts a large dose of Loratadine.*

[Kugai]

Out comes an Allergist to test you.

*Inserts a Medicaid Bracelet*

[P'ter]

The machine returns it intoning "I do not need this: I am incapable of having either allergies or a sense of humour."

*Inserts a whoopy cushion*

[Kugai]

out steps Ms Goldberg who thanks you for the personalised cushion.


*Inserts a Q Action Figure*

[P'ter]

Kirk's wrist radio drops out and Uhura is heard saying "Hailing frequencies open Captain."

*Inserts a set of drums from the Harper Hall drum heights.*

[Kugai]

Loud drumming starts and a voice comes over a Tannoy "Mairneville, man all Battlestations!"


*Inserts a pass to Straker Studios*

[P'ter]

Out strides Neptune shaking his trident, and shouting "How dare you use my house without permission!"

*Inserts a 1960s bomber jacket.*

[Kugai]

The machine rattles and shakes violently, then form out the slot flies a Vic throe formation of model Vulcan Bombers



*Inerts a picture of Chuck Yeager*