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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:04 PM   #1
Lady Maelin
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Default Newbie Question?

I am new to the computer, and especially fan sites, I found MoM thankfully by sheer luck. And I am very thankfull for you all here because as of late I have come to realize that you are not the normal site.

I have also been learning some new terms:

1. Newbie, one who is so new as to not be worthy to talk to.
2. Lurker, some one who keeps hanging around, that we are pretty sure we don't want to talk to, unless it is to redicule.
3.Post Runner or counter, a person who is talking to much to too many people that other people want to talk to first.
4.Attack, a verbal slap in the face by someone who does not like what you are saying, and that they hope will intemidate you, until you go away.

These are only a few, of what I now know are very common terms and comments being made to fellow fans. People that I thought were coming together to enjoy their mutual love of a given subject,(author, movie, hobbie, music, etc.)that they came to share with each other.

I don't understand, I thought that when you came to a fan site, that the whole reason was to talk to each other. To answer each others post, in a respectful inteligent manner, the more the merrier, friends and comments.

Only to read comments that a fan was making to many posts, not making long enough posts,or smart enough post. Or that someone did not like someone that the person was talking about. That being a newbie( I was just so happy to come and find you all here, how sad to come and find no one here.) is something to look down on and not to take seriously, you know they just don't know anything. Or being a person that sits back and reads whats going on, so that they know what to talk about when they do say something.

When I came here and starting meeting all of you, I heard comments that every site was not as friendly as here, and foolishly I just thought that you were really just overly proud of your site. I sat next to my husband listening to him while he was trying to have a decent conversation on a different subject site. He kept making comment about how lucky I was to have such a nice site to talk on.
Well now I know for myself, and I wish that I had stayed here and not found what I did at the other sites. It makes no sence to me to love something so much. to go and find a place to be with others, and then to be nasty to someone else who is also there and loves what you do. I have been going around in the last couple of days, and what I read and saw going on, made me afraid to make a comment. I was scared to say anything, being a "newbie" and having "lurked" on the outside, and not saying the right thing to the right person. This is not right, fans should be able to come and enjoy and converse with joy and friendship. Not FEAR or, of all things HATE!!
I know that I talk alot, not just because I am a NEWBIE,(which I thought was a cute name for us who are new to the site) but because I wanted to know all of you as soon as I could. That way I could share with you on a more knowledgable basis. I sat on the side for just a little while, because I saw how great you all were and I wanted to talk to you. And what a treat it was when I said "Hello" to you all and saw what you gave me back. Now I know for real how lucky I was to find you. If I had gone to one of the other sites that I have visited lately, I would have gone away in disgust and never come back, as I am now sure other fans have done.

There is no way to tell you how glad that I am that you are here, and how much I hope that others find their way here who are looking for what we have. I know that they will be treated wonderfully like I was, and that with that kind of greeting they will treat others the same, naive yes I am, but I have hope I found you, others like us will too!
I hope that I have not upset anyone here, If I did I truly am sorry. But maybe someone else has had these feeling and wanted to say something where they would feel safe saying it!
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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:19 PM   #2
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Lady Maelin

One of the things about this site is that it's run by one of the most knowlegeable Anne McCaffrey people on the internet *bows to Cheryl* and the Staff have known each other both online and in real life for several years, more in some cases . We're proud that MoM is a site for "book lovers" rather than a more general site, which is probably why it's less busy and less contentious than some of the other fansites. I'm sorry you've had some bad experiences, but don't let that stop you exploring the world of fandom, there are some great sites and boards out there, it's just a question of horses for courses
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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:35 PM   #3
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Your comments make me proud, Lady Maelin, Thank you!

Maybe it'll help you to know a little bit more about the team that runs this place

Cheryl was the first admininistrator ever of the official "Worlds of Anne McCaffrey" forumboard and chatroom at Anne's own site before she got herself pregnant and became mother of a set of most adorable twins
Anneli and I were members of the administrator team at both Anne's site and later at the site you talk about, Anne McCaffrey Fans or New Kitchen Table. a site I actually built and set up as Tech Admin (there originally was a set of four admin there). Our staff member Shani still is involved there and our dearest Pam has been a moderator/host at the original Kitchen Table as well as a staff member of Anne's special program track at Dragon*Con for years
The latest addition, Golder, we invited because we want to establish something called the International Wing, for peeps being able to discuss anne's works in tehri own language or another language then their own We hopefully will expand on that section in the future because we a) want to be a really international community and b) we know Anne would appreciate it because it was something about which her son thinks isn't possible to do.

My, aren't I rambling on here? Not to say anything against teams running other Anne dedicated sites [you already know by now that Cheryl own and operate some of the best and most dedicated Anne fansites available and we don't misgrudge anybody their rightful place on the net (a few of the member here, C_ris and Jayru among them have absolutely wonderful fansites! DO visit them!)] on the contrary, we feel we are the best site/board for discussing Anne's works and we work towards that end; i.e. cathcing the more or less "serious" part of Anne fandom, thus creating our own niche in fandom and leaving everybody to his/her own, in her own worth and dignity.

The past five years have showed that "dignity" doesn't seem to mean the same to all fans and that not all people who we originally considered fans could maintain their "dignity" when they could not or did not "get out of the deal" they might have wanted. Such is life. We're all human in the end and I'm the last to say I never made a snarky remark. For myself, I tried to stay with my dignity and promises and though I'll never will easily forgive some persons the hurt they have caused I do realise that they - neither people nor circumstances - are all that important when real life comes along.

What I do know is that "dabbling" in Anne Mccaffrey fandom has given me a handful of friends in real life (after having met them online years ago) that I trust and who have become more than fellow fans. That's life, too. I have had the pleasure to meet Anne in person and stay at her place for a prolonged time together with these friends. That time, and their friendship, Anne's included, is something I'll cherish forever and something no petty bickering, copyright isseu or whatever will threathen, ever
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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:39 PM   #4
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Default Re: Newbie Question?

I would say that you were indeed lucky to find a friendly corner of the web first, as it may have scared you off online boards/community sites altogether if you hadn't.

Many of us here first discovered online communities at Anne's own site, which was revamped and added a message board and then a chat room 5-6 years ago. It was generally a pretty friendly corner on the web until the community bits were shut down a year ago (but as a larger site there were inevitible personality conflicts and issues that came up). This site being quite small, relatively speaking, has avoided any big fights/issues thus far.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady Maelin
I have also been learning some new terms:

1. Newbie, one who is so new as to not be worthy to talk to.
2. Lurker, some one who keeps hanging around, that we are pretty sure we don't want to talk to, unless it is to redicule.
3.Post Runner or counter, a person who is talking to much to too many people that other people want to talk to first.
4.Attack, a verbal slap in the face by someone who does not like what you are saying, and that they hope will intemidate you, until you go away.
I would disagree with some of these definitions. A newbie is just someone that is new and doesn't know the ropes yet -- perhaps of the internet in general or perhaps just of a particular site. While there certainly are people that disdain all newbies, not everyone does and the term can be and is used in a friendly manner by many people.

A lurker is someone who reads posts (or hangs out in a chat room) but doesn't participate (or rarely does). I'd say that we probably would like to talk to many lurkers, but for whatever reason they choose not to participate. Some people make fun of lurkers, perhaps seeing them as shy or socially inept, but again that's just some people.

Post Runner is a new one to me, but I think that's what also might be termed a Forum Spammer -- not in the sense of the ridiculous email spam we all get, but just in the sense of posting lots and lots and lots without saying much that anyone finds interesting, usually for the sake of getting a higher post count.

The online term for a verbal attack or hateful post is a "flame", rather than attack.

Another term you should definitely learn is "troll", which is a person who posts insulting or controversially just to get arguments started and cause a lot of flames. A troll is someone that takes pleasure in causing trouble. The best way to deal with a troll is to not respond at all, thus you may find people saying "Don't feed the troll" -- e.g. don't reply.

If you want to read about more about trolls and flaming, try these links:
http://members.aol.com/intwg/flamewars.htm
http://members.aol.com/intwg/trolls.htm

While again this site is pretty friendly corner of the web, it's not a bad idea to get educated about what you may encounter elsewhere. Plus the first of those links gives some good insights into how some pretty ridiculous arguments get started by people who are otherwise reasonable people.
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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Newbie Question?

LOL, all three reacting at the same time
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Old Jan 6 2006, 03:49 PM   #6
Lady Maelin
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Anneli , Hans , and Cheryl , Because of you I can fly out of here for awhile like a small homing bird. When she gets tired and needs a nice spot to nest, can come home and breathe deep, far away from the hawks.
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Old Jan 7 2006, 12:18 AM   #7
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Default Re: Newbie Question?

Just a bit of personal history too.

I was a newbie... once. About a decade ago I started to get involved in online activities, via the university computers. Email. Usenet (newsgroups, Lady M). MUD (similar to MUshes, but more of an emphasis, in these cases, on the gaming, less on the social).

Since then, I've been concentrating primarily on email and, over the last year or two, on Anne message boards.

I also write reviews for a couple of online sites, have my own homepage, had (until very recently) a couple of blogs, and I edit my own online magazine, which may be augmented by another, soon enough.

In short, I've some experience online, and I have basically kept myself away from flame wars (or should that be 'lame' wars?) and other assorted nastiness. However, this site is among the few places I have been on that I have been able to sit back, relax, and be my usual self, and to be as supportive and personable as possible. I like people, I like making people happy, and if I can do so here through my poemlets, and my occasional work on the monthly trivia contests, which I love doing, btw, because they give me and others pleasure, then I will be as supportive of Cheryl, Hans, Anneli, and the rest of the team as I possibly can. And of everyone else here, all my friends, acquaintances, and friends and acquaintances to be.

Of course this includes you.

There used to be a qualifier to 'newbie', btw. Clueless newbie. That was more disparaging, but I have never been tempted to use it here. Why? Because although there may be newbies, each is nonetheless a wonderful person, and each has given me hope in the best of humanity. In short, each has been a great guy or gal, just like you.

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Old Jan 7 2006, 01:48 PM   #8
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Cheryl, Thank you for the two site's for me to go to. That was so interesting that I had my husband read along with me. We were so suprised to read how so much of the sites can be disrupted by people, who's whole reason to be on is to disrupt the site. What a total waste of time and energy, when they could take all of that and contribute to the good of the site.
I don't know how good I could be at spotting something like what he discribes, but I will try to keep my eyes open, so to speak, and be careful.
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Old Jan 7 2006, 02:08 PM   #9
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I often wonder if trolls are as unpleasant in real life as they are on the boards...After all, it's much harder to hide in real life and responses are much more immediate. Easier to dump something on the head of an unpleasant person than to do the same to a troll. <EG>

I actually like this board a bit better than the NKT at the moment. A much more pleasant group overall!
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Old Jan 9 2006, 10:48 AM   #10
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I don't think that trolls are as nasty in the real world. They couldn't be, I hardly ever meet any one who is nasty in the real world. You find that people are nicer to your face, and will make comment later after you have gone. On the internet, they don't have to wait. My husband has not been able to find a site that he can talk on with out major nasties going on. He has been very discouraged. This site has hepled him to keep looking, he is so happy that I have a great place to come and enjoy. I am carefull now, especially after some of the things that you have all warned me about. Hey you live and you learn and hopefully you can still smile when it's all over.
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Old Jan 9 2006, 11:05 AM   #11
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I suspect most trolls would not be recognized as such in real life -- they enjoy causing trouble online where they are essentially anonymous. But there are those people in real life that while perhaps not causing mayhem to the extent of an online troll, are always negative and pointing out the reasons why something wouldn't work and criticizing and generally being a pain to be around.
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Old Jan 9 2006, 11:50 AM   #12
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I think because this place is so much smaller and more focused than the NKT we don't have as many, if any, trolls which is nice. The sense of family built by Cheryl, Hans, Pam, and the other Hosties is a wonderful thing. I would do what ever I could for many of the people here at this site even though I have never met them and I know they would do what they could for me if needed. I don't think I've ever met such a wonderful group of people since I was on AOL over 15 years ago when it was in it's early stages. (And the only person I'm really still in touch with from there is Hubby and I see him all the time but don't talk to anyone else from my adventures there anymore).

I can't think of a better place to be then right here!!
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Old Jan 9 2006, 02:42 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kater
I can't think of a better place to be then right here!!
I can: Dragonhold, in the middle of a gather with Cheryl and Hans, and as much of us as possible.
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Old Jan 10 2006, 03:15 PM   #14
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I am not sure that it is because we are so small, as it is because of the kind of people who are here and why. I know that with more people you have a greater chance of problems but with this site the feeling is so different than any other that I have seen. You can almost feel the difference, thankfully!!!
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Old Jan 10 2006, 03:35 PM   #15
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Seriously, we don't have that many less active members, really; even though you can't actually see how many active members AMCF has. Only the registered member number shows and that is 805 against MoM's 389, so we have roughly half their membership.
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Old Jan 10 2006, 05:40 PM   #16
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but we tend to be friendly, we don't go wildly OT- by wildly OT, I gave up on the non-Annerelated forum I used to be a member cos from being tiny its membership exploded and it got silly! By the time i left there were so many post restrictions and I hadn't been able to keep up for months. but by then I'd found the OKT (just before it closed!)
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Old Sep 1 2009, 08:10 AM   #17
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Is this post 3 years old?

I just finished my posting my thread "help the newbie", and afterwards, the site sort of directed me here. I just had to say that the way Lady Maelin felt when she first joined up here, is exactly how I feel right now. I've been a little worried that I might be annoying people with my tendency to get a little over - excited... I hope that's not the case...

I feel a lot better after reading this Thanks to everyone here for your patience while I learn the ropes....
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Old Sep 1 2009, 09:47 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samsara View Post
Is this post 3 years old?

I just finished my posting my thread "help the newbie", and afterwards, the site sort of directed me here. I just had to say that the way Lady Maelin felt when she first joined up here, is exactly how I feel right now. I've been a little worried that I might be annoying people with my tendency to get a little over - excited... I hope that's not the case...

I feel a lot better after reading this Thanks to everyone here for your patience while I learn the ropes....
I felt like that 4 years ago and when I look at some of my earlier posts, I kind of cringe, wondering why the hell I wrote whatever I wrote then I look at others and think "well I did the right thing there". So don't worry too much, we have a lot of patience and tend to help each other.
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Old Sep 2 2009, 11:55 PM   #19
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Samsara...Hello and welcome to MoM....Don't worry about being excited and showing it...or that your annoying other MoMers with that excitement...most of us enjoy chating with other members that have a good deal of *Happy* about Anne and her stories....LORD I fairly hop with it at times, as several of our fellow MoMers know from real life experiences...(Waves at Cheryl, Hans, Anneli...just to name a few)

I think the only members that ever really annoy other members here, are those that lack a fair amount of patience and understanding for their fellow members...but they don't seem to last very long here.
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Old Sep 3 2009, 04:46 AM   #20
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Sweeeeet....
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Old Sep 3 2009, 08:47 PM   #21
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Samsara View Post
Sweeeeet....
welcome to MoM or Meeting of the Mind. I know sometime folks find my posts hard to understand sometime, I find that I can think/speak out better than I can write out post sometime. to see another one from the 'Land Down Under'!
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Old Sep 3 2009, 11:02 PM   #22
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I'm one of those whose first online community experience was Anne-related. I found Cheryl's site and followed a lnk to the OKT (Anne's original Kitchen Table site). I'm glad you found your way here Samsara. This is a friendly, caring group of folks!
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Old Sep 4 2009, 06:19 AM   #23
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That it is Sandi! Everyone has been so nice, and it's really fun getting to know you all! Hi Ginnystar, yes another Aussie....
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