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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

Greenrider Tresa Dec 24 2017 10:53 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
An obsidian knife with a direwolf hilt emerges.

*Inserts a platter of Christmas cookies*

P'ter Dec 25 2017 03:16 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine replies with a Mōdraniht feast of Yule Goat with all the trimmings.

*Inserts a piece of white folded cardboard on which is printed "Write your own message: draw your own picture."*

Dragon Fan Dec 25 2017 04:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The cardboard is returned with a simple message, Leave others their Otherness.


Inserts a mug of warmed Eggnog with a cinnamon stick and grated nutmeg.

P'ter Dec 26 2017 03:25 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine replies with a flask of Klah.

*Inserts an unsolved Kakuro puzzle.*

Dragon Fan Dec 26 2017 04:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns your puzzle solved, elapsed time was .000000001 second.

Inserts a Chinese puzzle box with Surprise inside.

P'ter Dec 27 2017 06:00 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns your surprise box. Surprise!!! The surprise is now wrapped around the outside of the box.

*Inserts a original Edison carbon-filament light bulb.*

Dragon Fan Dec 28 2017 07:04 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
An arm extends from the internal workings with the original light fixture used to test the very first bulb, it is permanently attached under a glass cover and now acts as a power indicator for the Universal time machine for all Eternity.

Inserts a Pittsburgh Pirate baseball cap.

P'ter Dec 29 2017 04:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine presents you with a pair of complimentary tickets for the Directors' Box to watch Chicago Cubs versus Chicago White Sox. :D :notme: :evil:

*Inserts an "UGG!" smilie.

Dragon Fan Dec 30 2017 04:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine ejects a small pile of faux leather ,faux fur and various bits and pieces of synthetic fibers, Then produces a pair of hand crafted Eskimo Muk Luks. , with a note reading "enjoy".

Inserts Christmas tree top Angel Ornament.

vyon Dec 31 2017 06:15 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine posts out a note "Merry everything and happy always, Have a happy, safe and healthy New Year."

Inserts a used New Year firework shell.

P'ter Dec 31 2017 11:51 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
To the unmusical sounds of a warning siren, the machine delivers an entire Royal Marine Bomb Disposal Team who make the machine the object of a "controlled Explosion".

After the machine is replaced (yet sgain), *inserts a small bar of plain chocolate.*

Dragon Fan Dec 31 2017 04:28 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Nothing is delivered fir the bar of Chocolate, Machine malfunction.

Inserts a 50 cent sized slug.

P'ter Dec 31 2017 05:23 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine (having recovered from the overdose of serotonin) delivers a car-sized snail.

*Inserts a leaf*

Dragon Fan Jan 1 2018 10:21 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After receiving your lone leaf, The machine Leafs you alone...For now.

Inserts a 1/4 sized Harp.

P'ter Jan 1 2018 05:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a minature score for Mozart's Harp Concerto in C major.

*Inserts (with difficulty) Gigezunft Doppleschwand's largest doublebass.*

Dragon Fan Jan 6 2018 06:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Too big to play, going Skiing instead.

Inserts a Mug of Double Swiss mocha With a touch of Cinnamon.

Greenrider Tresa Jan 7 2018 01:00 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
an empty mug emerges with a note: Thanks, please send more!

*inserts box of Kleenex*

P'ter Jan 7 2018 03:19 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine sneezes really hard and the tissues reappear origamied into a birds which fly around singing "Le Cygne" from Saint-Saens' Carnival of the Animals.

*Inserts a used wedding dress.*

Dragon Fan Jan 7 2018 10:43 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine sends Condolences to the user of said Wedding Dress.

Inserts a pint of Kentucky white lighting!

P'ter Jan 8 2018 02:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine is surrounded by half a dozen old Paddy Wagons, disgorging a horde of Keystone-type cops. The interior of the machine is in a time-warp and it's still prohibition in there.

*Inserts a hands-free mouse.*

Dragon Fan Jan 8 2018 08:29 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Hey Mouse, Click on the Cheese! .....................The Mouse ignores me. Mr. Mouse, please click on the cheese. The Mouse clicks on the Cheese and you win One free Turn in the game of your choice.

Inserts a Cantaloupe.

P'ter Jan 9 2018 03:58 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Unfortunately, I can not find a machine that will allow me to play the game of my choice :( meanwhile, passers-by are being bombarded with a seemingly never-ending stream of melon balls.

*Inserts a live crab.*

vyon Jan 9 2018 06:49 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine scuttles around sideways trying to rid itself of the crab, which has hidden in its inner workings.

Inserts a large seagull to deal with the crab.

Dragon Fan Jan 9 2018 11:48 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The seagull flies off after a vain try at de-crabbing the machine. The captain of the Time Bandit shows up and takes care of the now rather large King Crab. Dinner is served!

Inserts a Supply of Steaks and Corn on the Cob for said dinner!

P'ter Jan 11 2018 04:26 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Unfortunately, having heard thst food is on the go, a large number of homeless folks turn up to consume the same, and fight over who gets the largest steak.

*Inserts a soda water syphon.*

Dragon Fan Jan 11 2018 09:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine uses the syphon to spray down the masses trying to get 2nd Steaks and corn.

Inserts a supply of towels

P'ter Jan 12 2018 04:42 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a note complaining that you have a dry sense of humour.

*Inserts a copy of The Bumper Book of Schoolboy Jokes.*

Dragon Fan Jan 12 2018 06:59 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lol,lo l,lol,lol,lol,

Inserts a spare tire from a 1923 Mode T ford. and a slice of apple pie,

P'ter Jan 13 2018 01:54 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a copy of Daddy Longlegs by Jean Webster.

*Inserts a bamboo bicycle.*

Dragon Fan Jan 13 2018 06:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Arggh, Splinters !

Inserts a tube of antibiotic ointment and some band aids.

P'ter Jan 14 2018 05:19 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine starts vibrating and juddering around. It finally falls to pieces as it was allergic to hibitane.

Went and had Mocca-cappachino while waiting for a replacement machine to arrive.

Went and had a swim; ditto.

Went and had lunch; ditto.

Went and had a quiet liedown; ditto.

Finally!

*Inserts a finals exam paper for B.Sc. Zoology.*

Dragon Fan Jan 14 2018 05:36 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out slides a Diploma in Zoology to " The Universal Vending Machine " , Which starts making smug, self satisfied noises, for what seems like forever.

Inserts a green plaid Kilt and a set of bagpipes.

vyon Jan 15 2018 06:13 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The plaid on kilt and bagpipes is Henderson of Fordell. The entire clan Henderson pours out of the machine yelling "The Hendersons are here!" They follow their piper over the horison.

Inserts a haggis.

Dragon Fan Jan 15 2018 08:15 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A member of clan Henderson of Fordell, races back and rescues the Haggis, smiles and runs after his Family, Oh Well, a nice pint and some Haggis would have been nice.

Inserts a Cat Flea collar.

P'ter Jan 19 2018 07:36 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a note stating that the collar does not fit any of the cat fleas inhabiting the machine.

*Inserts a tie in Hunting Fraser plaid.*

Dragon Fan Jan 19 2018 08:18 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The Machine has a problem with a Windsor knot, Calls in a favor from a quite lovely serving wench of days of yore, Whom ties the tie, and a wink of her eye, Disappears back into the machine with a hearty laugh!

Inserts a horse collar.

vyon Jan 21 2018 05:44 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It reappears around the neck of a handsome Clydesdale, who clops past towing a dray upon which the Hendersons of Fordell are still carousing - with Scotch, of course!

Inserts a bottle of (very expensive) Potocki vodka.

Dragon Fan Jan 21 2018 01:20 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine quits responding for quite a few hours, strange noises are heard from time to time. After the noises stop, and a few hours of what sounds like snoring a one word response is issued forth..................WOW !

Inserts a Red Rider BB Gun !

Greenrider Tresa Jan 22 2018 12:30 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A very young Clint Eastwood emerges dressed up like a tiny cowboy. He runs toward you shooting the BB and yelling excitedly.

"inserts a single eagle feather*

P'ter Jan 22 2018 11:19 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A very young Jay Silverheels emerges dressed up as a tiny Indian, with the feather in a headband. He runs towards you waving a minature tomahawk missile, and whooping excitedly.

*Inserts a surf board.*


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