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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

Kugai Feb 27 2017 06:42 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a long, 40 Camel Train just in from Timbuktu and laden with spices and silks


*Inserts a Chinese Coin*

P'ter Feb 28 2017 06:25 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out come Gus Arnheim's Cocoanut Grove Orchestra playing "I've Got a Yen for You."

*Inserts a Bitcoin*

Kugai Feb 28 2017 06:07 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes the Bit from Tron looking for a new owner.



*Inserts a Data Disk*

P'ter Mar 1 2017 10:24 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Captain Kirk looking for Data.

*Inserts a deflated air-bed.*

Kugai Mar 1 2017 03:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It coomes back out with a Cycle Puncture Repair Kit sitting on top of it.



*Inserts a Tour De France brochure*

P'ter Mar 2 2017 03:16 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out falls a bottle containing multiple doses of GW1516.

*Inserts an original copy of Weyr Flight.*

Kugai Mar 2 2017 05:14 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a large golden egg


*Inserts a hardback copy of Time Enough For Love*

P'ter Mar 3 2017 05:28 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out Strides Lazarus Long followed by Dora in her spaceship persona.

*Inserts a Spanish Prisoner*

Kugai Mar 4 2017 04:53 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Don Diego in his Zorro costume wanting to have 'A Word' with you


*Inserts a Spanish Doubloon*

P'ter Mar 5 2017 04:34 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
the machine quits.

A new machine arrives via an n-dimensional spacewarp and I insert a small ingot of gold bullion.

Kugai Mar 5 2017 06:04 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps Quark demanding you turn over the Latinum that should be with the worthless gold



*Inserts a Dabo Wheel*

P'ter Mar 6 2017 06:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out races Broik who is being pelted with various coins of varying metals. She disappears into the distance.

*Inserts a coloured pencil.*

Kugai Mar 6 2017 06:07 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes John Wick looking for his missing weapon


*Inserts a Samurai Sword*

P'ter Mar 7 2017 06:42 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes my great-grandfather in his master-mariner uniform, wearing said sword and all 6 of his Japanese medals.

(He was a captain for NYK and was involved in Jap/China War 1890s, Jan/Russia War 1905, and WW1.)

*Inserts an out-of-date library card.*

Kugai Mar 7 2017 07:21 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Marion The Librarian wiht an dour look on her face.


*Inserts a Snickers Bar*

P'ter Mar 9 2017 03:58 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Nothing comes out, but the machine starts sniggering.

To shut it up you insert a gobstopper.

Kugai Mar 9 2017 06:01 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Ed, Edd and Eddy


*inserts a Mouse Wheel*

P'ter Mar 10 2017 08:22 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
To the accompaniment of a squeaky bearing; two hamsters are ejected and scamper off.

Inserts last Sunday's newspaper.

Kugai Mar 10 2017 05:04 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is an odd wheezing, whooping sound and the Machine suddenly turns into a Police Box and out setps the Doctor who hands it back to you with a warning about poluting the Timestream before disappearing back into the Box with a fourish of his scarf which makes the aame noise and instantly the Vending Machine is back.


*inserts a picture of River Song*

P'ter Mar 11 2017 01:48 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The screams of a baby precede the arrival of an object labelled "Tardis Maternity". It turns out to be a used diaper.


*Inserts a long stripey scarf.*

Kugai Mar 11 2017 05:38 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a large bag of Jelly Babies and a hearty "Thank you kind sir!"

*Inserts a Fez*

P'ter Mar 11 2017 06:00 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Tommy Cooper just like that.

*Inserts an o.a.p. travel pass*

Kugai Mar 12 2017 05:41 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine rattles and shales then spits it out and in a perky voice asks for a Multipass


*Inserts a Cab License*

P'ter Mar 12 2017 07:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine informs you (in a satnav voice) that you have arrived at your destination and, although you haven't travelled any distance, you are still liable for the booking fee of $3.59.

*You kick the machine which sucks your shoe off and swallows it.*

Kugai Mar 13 2017 06:55 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
You hear a thump, an "OW!" and the voice of George W. Bush dirfts out "Oh no, not again!!"

The shoe comes flying out again.




*Inserts a First Aid Kit*

P'ter Mar 13 2017 07:34 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out saunters Doctor Kildare and the entire casts of Emergency Ward 10, and Doctor in the House (all arguing over who gets the next patient).

*Inserts a fish knife*

vyon Mar 14 2017 07:41 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a large angry shark with the fish knife impaled in its back

You dive into the machine ...

Kugai Mar 15 2017 07:16 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
And drop onto sand finding yourself wearing a Stillsuit.

*Inserts a Melange Tab*

P'ter Mar 16 2017 03:20 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After taking the melange tab, you feel so good that you backtrack where you rolled down the dune, extricate yourself from the stillsuit and climb back out of the machine.

*Inserts a smithcraft half-mark.*

Greenrider Tresa Mar 16 2017 03:58 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a prototype flying machine.
*inserts Ballybran crystal*

Kugai Mar 16 2017 05:00 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a craystal clear 'C' note that shatters all your glasses.


After you sweep up all the shattered glass you insert it into the machine.

P'ter Mar 17 2017 05:20 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There's a pause and then the machine gently hands over a lifesize glass sculpture of a firelizard.

*Inserts a piece of paper with a swear word written on it.*

Kugai Mar 17 2017 06:06 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine spits out a Kevin Bloody Wilson CD


*Inserts a picture of a Vorlon Transport*

GinnyStar Mar 18 2017 06:51 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Kugai (Post 202789)
The machine spits out a Kevin Bloody Wilson CD


*Inserts a picture of a Vorlon Transport*


Out come a Blue Lion

* Inserts an image of Irish Soda Bread and a glass of water and a glass of Irish Whisky

P'ter Mar 19 2017 04:28 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
St. Pat sticks his head out of the machine and points out that he was teetotal.

*Pours whisky back into the machine; hoping to dowse St. Pat.*

vyon Mar 19 2017 07:48 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
St Pat jumps out again. "I'm not swimming in that!" he exclaims and goes off to hunt Irish snakes.

Inserts an Irish snake ...

Kugai Mar 19 2017 05:15 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Homer Simpson with his Whackin' Stick looking for more Snakes to whack



*Inserts a Barry White CD*

P'ter Mar 20 2017 09:48 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes the US Ambassador to Norway triping over his skis.

*Inserts a Mamaluke.*

Kugai Mar 20 2017 06:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes an Ottoman Janissary Division lead by its band


*Inserts a Cavalry Sabre*

P'ter Mar 21 2017 06:10 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out come General Custer and the US 7th Cavalry who are immediately attaqcked by the Ottoman Janissaries.

*Inserts a copy of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (1948)*


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