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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

P'ter Oct 26 2017 05:16 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a note declaring that the produce will be delivered after a suitable passage of time as the seeds are now embedded in the aforementioned compost.

*Inserts the Codex Zakynthius.*

Dragon Fan Oct 26 2017 06:29 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
All the secrets of the old world are revealed, However it is written in invisible ink.

" Inserts a Water Balloon "

P'ter Oct 27 2017 03:20 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The balloon returns fully kitted out for Richard Branson's first attempt to cross the Atlantic by underwater balloon, setting off from the Virgin Isles of course.

*Inserts a Gulfstream aircraft.*

Dragon Fan Oct 27 2017 07:33 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The Machine Delivers to you a pair of around the world tickets. Choose wisely whom you want to take with you.

Inserts a pair of warm earmuffs.

P'ter Oct 28 2017 03:28 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After a series of sounds worthy of a Hammer Horror Movie; the earmuffs are returned somewhat enlarged, and fitted on an Uber taxi.

*Inserts a fake Chinese 43 yen banknote.*

Dragon Fan Oct 28 2017 06:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Counterfeiter alert, go directly to jail, do not pass Beijing, do not collect 1329.79 Yen.

inserts a Tonka truck.

P'ter Oct 29 2017 01:31 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine stages a noisy Grand Autotheft type car chase -- entirely with Dinkytoys!

*Inserts a lucky horseshoe from Shergar.*

Dragon Fan Oct 29 2017 05:11 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
What Luck ! the machine wins the Lottery !

Inserts a bunch of losing tickets.

P'ter Oct 30 2017 03:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns them as numerous bags of confetti in the shapes of lucky four-leaf clovers.

*Inserts the sheet music for "Balleilakka" from the film "Sivaji".

Dragon Fan Oct 30 2017 10:59 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
In a heavy Indian accent machine informs all that " We are having technical difficulties, please try again later"

Inserts a hood ornament from a 1955 Chevy Belair nomad.

Greenrider Tresa Oct 30 2017 11:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
An actual nomad emerges and offers you a camel ride - in exchange for your clothes.

Inserts a blue diamond.

P'ter Oct 31 2017 02:57 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers an assortment of other gems including yellow rubies, green sapphires, red emeralds, and Pernese black diamonds.

*Inserts a picture of Anne McCaffrey.*

Dragon Fan Oct 31 2017 05:31 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine goes quiet for quite a while, A Display window opens and this message appears, I can not compete. I can do many things. But I can not create an entire World.

Inserts a bowl of Chocolate CoCoa puffs.

P'ter Nov 1 2017 05:03 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine goes quiet for quite a while, A Display window opens and this message appears, "I would rather have a bowl of porridge, thank you."

*Inserts a message saying "Sorry. No can do," & a bicycle pump.*

Dragon Fan Nov 3 2017 09:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine pumps up old car inner tubes and requests you float away down the river for a Vacation.

Inserts a stuffed one eyed Minion.

P'ter Nov 4 2017 03:30 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
How despicable!

The machine delivers an inflatable Scarlet Overkill sex doll.

*Inserts a packet of sparklers.*

Dragon Fan Nov 4 2017 08:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine is alight with the wonder of sparkling light! due to the special conditions! One time only! 2 items must be inserted.

Inserts a hubcap and a little red Wagon.

P'ter Nov 6 2017 06:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a pair of large sunglasses, and a radiator mascot.

*Inserts a bag of fairy dust.*

Dragon Fan Nov 6 2017 09:26 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Hundreds of tiny fairies stream out and away to bring happy dreams to children all over the land.

Inserts Jacks magic beans.

P'ter Nov 7 2017 05:58 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine splits asunder as a large green shoot shoots skyward. Some 5 minutes later the machine is crushed under an enormous being landing on it bum first. You take off down the road leaving the machine to its fate.

Yet another replacement machine has to be delivered.

*Inserts a baby's dummy.*

Dragon Fan Nov 7 2017 07:12 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
and unto you is delivered a Baby, Screaming and crying until the mother and father appear to claim their pride and joy !

In appreciation you enter a large donation to the Homeless children's fund.

P'ter Nov 8 2017 04:19 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a printed note hoping that you will donate a similar amount each month.

In appreciation you kick the machine hard. Whereupon a hatch opens and a mechanical arm hits you with a hammer.

*Inserts a bill for subsequent medical treatment.*

Dragon Fan Nov 8 2017 07:34 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Bill is paid, with much machine mumbling, an apology note is also delivered with a bit of grumbling.

In an attempt to smooth Machine > Human relations, ......Inserts a Pineapple upside down cake with Cherries!

P'ter Nov 9 2017 07:39 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns the cake up the right way sans cherries! And two dozen cupcakes made in bone china cups.

*Inserts a better sense of humour.*

Dragon Fan Nov 9 2017 06:24 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine beeps! sense of humor unknown!

Inserts a zip tie and 7 golf balls.

P'ter Nov 10 2017 04:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns the golf balls, plus Donald Trump who drives them off down the road with his wedgie. He tries to follow them but is prevented by the machine one of who's extensibles is grasping the zip-lock which is now round Donald's neck.

*Inserts a CFP franc from the Isles Wallis et Futuna."

Dragon Fan Nov 10 2017 06:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Money, Money, Money, pay the bills !

Inserts a box of tissues.

Greenrider Tresa Nov 10 2017 10:39 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A guide to Hallmark's Fall lineup comes out.


*Inserts a dragonfly in amber*

vyon Nov 11 2017 03:39 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It comes out beautifully set as the centrepiece of an amber necklace.

Inserts three red Anzac poppies and an Armistice Day commemoration programme.

P'ter Nov 11 2017 03:36 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine "delivers" Binyon's For the Fallen to an intricate Gregorian Chant.

*Inserts an excerpt from X-factor.*

Dragon Fan Nov 11 2017 07:47 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The BONG of a giant Gong is heard from the Machine! Then an Apology, Sorry, Wrong show.

Inserts a framed photo of Chuck Barris.

P'ter Nov 12 2017 10:16 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a one-way air ticket to East Berlin, and a silenced Colt automatic with no ammunition.

*Inserts a signed photo of Ralph Reader.*

Dragon Fan Nov 13 2017 06:20 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine delivers a scouting program.

Inserts a Walking stick.

P'ter Nov 14 2017 05:09 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers it back, along with a ball and Charlie Chaplin on rollerskates reading a mimeogrphed paper containing the rules for playing street hockey.

*Inserts a small bowler hat.*

Dragon Fan Nov 14 2017 07:53 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops a small bowler that looks like Stan Hardy. He wanders off looking for pins to knock down.

Inserts an Empty peanut can.

P'ter Nov 15 2017 05:36 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers Linus and Lucy van Pelt who dance off singing "We're looking for a piano" from Julian Slade's "Salad Days".

*Inserts a section of Babbage's Calculation Engine.*

Dragon Fan Nov 15 2017 06:28 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine gives no response, keeps flashing " analyzing " on a small screen.

Inserts a box of Kleenex Tissues.

P'ter Nov 17 2017 04:48 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is a series of minor explosions. The machine then delivers an empty tissue box . . . . . . and a large plastic bag containing all the used tissues now dripping with engine oil and hydraulic fluid.

*Inserts a first edition of the first issue of "Astoundings".*

Dragon Fan Nov 18 2017 05:54 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine purrs in contentment.

Inserts a bottle of Irish mist.

vyon Nov 19 2017 05:58 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The entire cast of "Riverdance" dances out and down the road, followed by their stage crew.

Inserts the Beehive, complete with politicians.


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