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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

Dragon Fan Sep 4 2017 07:59 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Jimi Hendrix tunes flood the air, stress levels drop!

"Inserts a Peace sign on a necklace of braided leather"

Sandi Sep 4 2017 08:26 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops a garden Gnome wearing said necklace.

*Inserts an autographed photo of Sir Elton John*

P'ter Sep 5 2017 06:19 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine transmogrifies into a gigantic bank of speakers simultaneously playing at full volume every track Elton's ever recorded. Following the melt down of the speakers, the machine needs replacing yet again.

*Inserts a bit-coin.*

Kugai Sep 5 2017 07:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Elon Musk steps out and gives you an Autograph on a paper Napkin

*Inserts a ticket to Mars*

Greenrider Tresa Sep 5 2017 08:51 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a collection of Reunion albums by 80s bands.
*inserts 100 Thai Bhats*

(Got bhats on the mind after being stumped by a crossword)

vyon Sep 6 2017 07:06 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
They come out again as real bats.

While they are flying around your head you accidentally insert an old woolly hat, your left shoe and a flyswat.

P'ter Sep 7 2017 05:27 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers Compo who, hopping mad, claims the hat as his, and attacks you with the fly-swat. Luckily for your skin, with only one shoe he's literally hopping and, thus, can not catch you.

*Inserts a summons for an Uber taxi.*

Sandi Sep 7 2017 04:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops an old yellow school bus trilling "Where shall we go today, hmmmm?" more than slightly off key.

*inserts a harmonica"

Kugai Sep 7 2017 07:49 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Charles Bronson looking for Henry Fonda

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BdK0jaLuJL8


*Inserts a chiming Watch*

P'ter Sep 8 2017 07:24 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
End end of a broom handle appears. After a few seconds the rest of the broom emerges flown by a charming witch (in the sense that she's uttering charms, not that's she's good-looking).

*Inserts a king-sized duvet cover.*

Greenrider Tresa Sep 8 2017 01:25 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes that fort you built in the living room when you were five.

*inserts bamboo stuffed pillow*

Kugai Sep 8 2017 07:12 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Samurai who bows and pays for the Pillow then reenters the machine

*Inserts a picture or Kurosawa*

P'ter Sep 9 2017 08:17 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers seven horses ridden by the magnificent (!) seven who, after a noisy discussion about renewing and upgrading their skill set, move off to lay siege to a bank (and relieve it of some assets).

*Inserts a large barrow load of horse manure left by the seven horses.*

Kugai Sep 9 2017 07:41 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is a loud crash and you hear the loud voice of ;Mad Dog' Buford scraming 'Manure!!! I hates manure!!"


*Inserts a gallon of gasoline*

Sandi Sep 9 2017 07:45 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine coughs and sputters and brightly colored lights start flashing!

*Inserts a new Yellowpages and runs*

Dragon Fan Sep 9 2017 09:56 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine begins to Vibrate, all phones in a square mile start to ring, When answered a Computer generated voice repeats over and over, "It's Sandi's Fault, It's Sandi's Fault "

"Inserts a pair of sound reducing headphones "

P'ter Sep 10 2017 04:22 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The plenitude of phones continue to ring. When answered the recipient hears a computer generated voice saying "Pardon? Pardon? I can't hear you. It's all Dragon Fan's fault."

*Inserts a sachet of instant Minestrone soup.*

Dragon Fan Sep 10 2017 10:48 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine gives a mechanical / Digital chuckle, disgorges a note reading" Thanks I needed that"

" Inserts a Pecan Pie"

Kugai Sep 11 2017 08:30 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine burps and returns the empty pie tray with a thank you note


*Inserts a Carafe of Coffee*

P'ter Sep 12 2017 06:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine, being English, returns the carafe and politely requests a cup of tea.

*Inserts a yam.*

Kugai Sep 12 2017 09:01 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It comes flying out again chased by two Siamese Kittens.


*Inserts a cardboard box*

Sandi Sep 12 2017 10:28 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The box pops back out neatly tied with twine. Inside is a hot container of mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top.

*Inserts a frozen turkey*

P'ter Sep 13 2017 04:54 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A hose extrudes from the machine, aims at you and covers you in chestnut stuffing.

*Inserts a Costa Rican Colon.*

Dragon Fan Sep 13 2017 06:48 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
You receive 1/17 of a cup of coffee.

" Inserts a Jack O' Lantern "

Sandi Sep 13 2017 08:21 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops a strangely familiar alien pointing a shining finger and mumbling something about a phone.

*Inserts a used pair of eclipse viewing lenses.*

P'ter Sep 14 2017 03:56 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine sprouts a pair of arms and dons a gigantic pair of eclipse viewing lenses, looks up at the overcast sky and throws them on the ground in disgust. Sprouting a pair of legs also, it clanks off down the road. You chase after it and . . .

*insert a card saying "sorry."*

Kugai Sep 14 2017 03:37 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine spits out a card that curtly says 'Accepted


*Inserts a ticket to ride*

P'ter Sep 14 2017 05:26 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Exiting from the machine come a crowd of beetles, loaded with miniature cases, heading for the Isle of White.

*Inserts a linear accelerator.*

Kugai Sep 15 2017 08:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes the Pan Am Spaceship from 2001 heading for space


*Inserts a pair of Velcro soled shoes*

Sandi Sep 15 2017 09:23 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The Velcro shoes won't let you move so you keep throwing handfuls of grass an pebbles at the machine. After several hours

a small round piece of quartz is inserted

P'ter Sep 16 2017 08:43 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Killashandra appears and informs you that you've just saved her from a trip into the Milleki Ranges.

*Inserts a Tongan paʻanga.*

Kugai Sep 16 2017 05:08 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine exchanges it for two strips of Gold Pressed Latinum.

*Inserts a deck of Tongo Cards*

Dragon Fan Sep 16 2017 09:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine ejects said cards and requests a nice game of Chess !

" Inserts a Wonder Woman action figurine "

P'ter Sep 17 2017 02:54 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers an oval ball closely chased by 22 figures in pads and helmets: the 2017 All American Heroes vs Universal Villains cup final in underway.

*Inserts a large glass prism.*

Kugai Sep 18 2017 11:46 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out coes the CBS Peacock who spreads his tail in celebration


*Inserts the Paramount Lawyers*

P'ter Sep 19 2017 07:39 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers several members of the aforesaid legal practice and their opponents from Henshaws Late Night Lawyers, plus His Honour Judge Hot Frog, to thrash out a party action by members of the Nganyayawana tribe who are claiming patent rights over the didgeridoo.

*Inserts a simply worded recipe for ice cubes.*

Kugai Sep 19 2017 09:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Follows instructions but due to my slightly dopey state, mucks it up


*Inserts a bucket of Ice Balls*

Dragon Fan Sep 19 2017 10:35 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Melts the ice balls and brews a good pot of coffee

" Inserts a steaming cup of said Coffee "

P'ter Sep 20 2017 10:37 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Unfortunately the machine is hyper-allergic to caffeine and it bounces around ejecting various bits and contents. A large dark van drives up and the crew disembark, seize the machine and load it on board giving you looks as dark as black coffee. After a lengthy consultation they hesitantly unload a replacement.

*Inserts a cheery grin.*

Kugai Sep 20 2017 09:57 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine, still calibrating itself, misreads that a bit and disgorges a block of Cheese


*Inserts a voucher for Crackers and Butter*


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