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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

P'ter Apr 13 2017 02:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
All that comes out is a sonic boom that retreats at a rate of knots.

*Inserts a black hole*

Kugai Apr 13 2017 07:59 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
OUt cmoes V.I.N.Cent scouting ahead for the rest of his crew.

*Inserts a Physics book*

P'ter Apr 14 2017 05:54 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges Nicholas Culpeper exclaiming "This looks not like Physick!"

*Inserts a mandrake root.*

Kugai Apr 14 2017 07:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps Dr. Strange and asks where he can get mre

*Inserts a Lightsabre*

P'ter Apr 15 2017 04:38 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps Mel Gibson waving a heavy claymore.

*Inserts a self-inflating mattress.*

vyon Apr 15 2017 08:22 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It inflates inside the machine.

Not good.

The plastic bung is suddenly ejected at speed, followed by the shredded remains of the mattress.

Inserts an empty beer can ...

Kugai Apr 15 2017 07:59 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a six pack of Duff Light Beer

*Inserts a barrel lf Guinness Beer*

P'ter Apr 16 2017 05:45 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a statue of 'La Lettrice' by Pietro Magni.

*Inserts Lord Elgin.*

Kugai Apr 16 2017 07:46 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is a loud rumble, then a large block of Marble comes sliding out



*Inserts a Hammer and Chisel*

P'ter Apr 17 2017 07:09 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
With a loud "clang"; the machine delivers a sign reading The Mason's Arms.

* Inserts a cocktail umbrella.*

Kugai Apr 17 2017 08:09 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps a certain British Agent sipping a Mohito.


*Inserts a Walther PPK*

P'ter Apr 18 2017 03:39 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Without any noise (the PKK has a Spectre silencer fitted) a 7.65mm bullet passes your ear. After a few seconds there's a loud crash from behind you: the bullet has gone "through a plate glass window like a brick".

*Inserts a note of complaint!*

vyon Apr 18 2017 06:33 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A large squad of policemen come out of the machine to investigate your complaint.

Inserts the getaway car.

Kugai Apr 18 2017 10:03 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A black BMW comes flying out of the machine driven by Frank Martin with Bond in t the back calmly doing the Times Crossword and speeds off into the night.

*Inserts a Police Pursuit Handbook*

P'ter Apr 19 2017 03:35 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out stalks a driving examiner, complete with clip-board, complaining that such goings on are not in compliance with the relevant sections of the Highway Code.

*Inserts a clip-board (nicked off the examiner)*

Kugai Apr 19 2017 09:41 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps an Efficiency Expert to do a Time and Motion Study

*Inserts a Management Survey*

P'ter Apr 20 2017 06:07 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine extrudes a long length of paper, mainly blank. On the last few inches are the words "You can't do that there here."

*Inserts a motor-cyclists helmet.*

Kugai Apr 20 2017 07:37 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Judge Dredd riding his Lawmaster.


*Inserts a Lawgiver*

P'ter Apr 21 2017 02:51 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
With many rumblings, the machine ejects two large tablets of stone with a series of commandments written in Hebrew.

Concerned for the machine's well-being; *inserts an entire packet of indigestion tablets.*

Kugai Apr 21 2017 08:33 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is a loud retching noise and suddenly you find yourself covered in a mass of cogs, wheels, machine parts and oily fluids.


*Inserts a pass to a Car Wash*

P'ter Apr 22 2017 04:34 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine opens up forming a small stage: on which Rose Royce are just warming up.

*Inserts a hair dryer*

Kugai Apr 22 2017 06:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps Homer Simpson and his Barbershop Quartet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pURFU3pL93o


*Inserts a Nuclear Fuel Rod*

P'ter Apr 23 2017 04:17 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine mutates into an X-wing starfighter and chases you down the street.

*Eventually, after it runs out of fuel, you find a suitable slot to insert a bicycle wheel.*

vyon Apr 23 2017 07:54 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It spits out a jandal (flip-flop) a shoe and a rusty shopping trolley.

You insert the other bicycle wheel.

Kugai Apr 23 2017 06:38 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes an Aussie beach bum surfer who takes the other Jandel with a cheery "Cheers mate" and then heads back into the machine.


*Inserts a six pack of Fosters*

P'ter Apr 24 2017 06:08 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out prances a male dancer with no strides.

*Inserts a school timetable.*

Kugai Apr 24 2017 10:41 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps the puples of Astoria Hill looking for more copies

*Inserts aTennis Racket*

P'ter Apr 25 2017 02:55 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine extrudes pair of snowshoes.

*Inserts an ice-lolly*

Kugai Apr 27 2017 08:10 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out rolls the Mister Whipy Van.


*Inserts a Chocolate Flake Bar*

P'ter Apr 29 2017 09:54 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a chocolate sex toy.

*Inserts a Victorian Anne Askew doll, complete with rack!*

Kugai Apr 29 2017 10:30 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a young Queen Victoria to thank you for the gift.

*Inserts a Sherlock Holmes mystery signed by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle*

P'ter Apr 30 2017 04:35 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out races Doctor Watson chased by the hound of the Baskervilles

*Inserts a "Winchester" stacked storage disc.*

Kugai Apr 30 2017 09:30 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Charles Babbage wanting to know how this workds



*Inserts a Playstation One with Controllers*

P'ter May 1 2017 02:49 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges the Disgaea characters Laharl and Etna arguing (as usual); who gradually dissipate into individual atoms.

*Inserts handbook for Sinclair Basic.*

vyon May 1 2017 08:51 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Sinclair, an Atari, and a Commodore 64.

Inserts a battered embroidered footstool.

Kugai May 1 2017 06:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops the Host of Antiques Roadshow with a Cheque for 20,000 euros for your antique Chippendale Footstool.


*Inserts a Gold Pocket Watch*

P'ter May 2 2017 03:16 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out hops the White Rabbit muttering "I'm late; I'm late."


*Inserts a leadless propelling pencil.

Kugai May 2 2017 10:12 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Battery Pack from a Nissan Leaf



*Inserts a picture of Jay Leno*

Dragon Fan May 2 2017 10:41 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out falls a note, " Defective material inserted, please try again"

Inserts a High school hall pass.

P'ter May 3 2017 01:59 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine just makes noises: - a toilet flushing followed by a high-speed hand-dryer.

*Inserts a football-referee's yellow card.*


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