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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

Dragon Fan Jul 30 2017 10:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Sails away on the model of the Argo.

"But not before inserting a forwarding address of 221B Baker Street"

P'ter Jul 31 2017 02:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine starts yelling, "ERROR! ERROR! Unacceptable monetary unit inserted!" Spits out multi-lingual announcement that the Greek currency was replaced by the Euro in 2001.

*Inserts a Venezuelan 50,000 Bolivar banknote. (Today worth about £3,700: tomorrow who knows?)*

Kugai Jul 31 2017 07:14 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Wheelbarrow full of Reichmarks


*Inserts an Altairian Dollar*

P'ter Aug 1 2017 08:30 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Slartibartfast exclaiming, "If you actually want to purchase something, you'll need a lot more than that."

*Inserts a harper two-marker.*

Dragon Fan Aug 1 2017 08:51 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine burps, spits out mangled twig.

Inserts a token from the game " Sequence"

vyon Aug 2 2017 08:25 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
That was an expensive twig!

Out comes a string of numbered beads, 0, 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, and so on.

Inserts the two-metre long leaf of a treefern.

Kugai Aug 2 2017 08:36 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine burps and spits out two mark piece


*Inserts a Bubbly Pie*

P'ter Aug 3 2017 04:20 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Ollie Mur's young relative Pie Mur.

*Inserts a 4 1/2" floppydisc.*

Dragon Fan Aug 3 2017 08:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine plays the sounds of the old game PONG.

"Inserts a 3 way light bulb "

Kugai Aug 3 2017 09:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The sound of Disco music comes from the machine before a BeeGees album it ejected.

*Inserts a miniature Kettle Drum*

P'ter Aug 4 2017 03:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a miniature record player play that well-known jazz number "Timpani Alley".

*Inserts a kleine sopranino.*

Kugai Aug 4 2017 07:01 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a strange bottle with Kiri Te Keanua in it :D


*Inserts a picture of Ivan Rebrov*

P'ter Aug 6 2017 08:00 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine spits out the Kings Singers who, between them, cover the same vocal range.

*Inserts a copy of Serve it Forth.*

Kugai Aug 6 2017 06:31 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
John McEnroe emerges and says "YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!!" before his head explodes

*Inserts a Body Bag*

P'ter Aug 7 2017 05:34 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns the bag and then, with a loud screech, shrinks and falls over. Two men in a 'private ambulance' arrive and, zipping the machine into the body bag, load it into the vehicle and drive off. After a short wait a new machine materializes and is checked out by Scotty.

*Inserts a scale model of the UFO that appeared in Dallas.*

Kugai Aug 7 2017 06:55 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Dr. J. Allen Hynick emerges, smokes his Pipe and smiles enigmatically


*Inserts a copy or he USAF's Blue Book*

P'ter Aug 8 2017 12:32 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
H. Wright Johnson appears and, with an enigmatic smile, tears the Blue Book into shreds.

*Still smiling (enigmatically) he inserts (on your behalf) a copy of the USN Bluejackets' Manual.*

Dragon Fan Aug 8 2017 07:42 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine makes the Phttt ! sound.

Out slides a copy of " The Grapes of Wrath" and a Bottle of Brandy!

Kugai Aug 8 2017 11:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Drinks the Brandy and trades the book in for a First Edition of To Sail Beyond The Sunset

*Inserts a Burroughs Irrelevancy Drive*

P'ter Aug 9 2017 03:15 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine flickers in and out of reality, each time in a slightly different location, delivering in turn: Maureen Johnson, Colonel Colin, Hazel, Laz, Lor, Ishtar, Galhad and Pixel.

*Inserts a business card for the Committee for Aesthetic Deletions.*

Kugai Aug 10 2017 07:30 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Count Dracula emerges,takes the card back and escapologists for the inconvenience.


*Inserts an invite to Arisugawa's Locket Bar and Nightclub*

P'ter Aug 11 2017 06:55 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Before you have time to decide whether to head for Tokyo or not, the machine delivers the twin barmaids each holding a drink. Minagi delivers hers with a smile; Ryouko throws hers in your face.

*Inserts a punctured airbed.*

Kugai Aug 11 2017 06:27 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine returns it along with a Bicycle Puncture Repair Kit


*Inserts a route map of the Tour De France*

P'ter Aug 12 2017 03:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After a few nanoseconds hesitation, the machine delivers a copy of Freya North's book "Cat".

*Reinserts the puncture kit (minus 1 patch).*

Kugai Aug 13 2017 06:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Racing Bike with a Spandex suit tied to the handlebars


*Inserts a bottle of Talcum Powder*

P'ter Aug 14 2017 04:32 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges my 80 year old cousin John who procedes to don the Spandex. He also reinflates the bike tyres with helium, to lighten the load on the road, and rides off for his latest time-trial.

*Inserts one shilling and six pence ha'penny in old money.*

Kugai Aug 14 2017 06:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges a Pie stuffed with Blackbirds


*Inserts a Rye Loaf*

Dragon Fan Aug 14 2017 09:04 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out slides a Reuben Sandwich with pickle and chips

" Inserts an empty platter, and a cold Beer "

Greenrider Tresa Aug 14 2017 11:15 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops a plate of meatloaf, homemade noodles, and thick bread with apple butter.

*inserts Amish quilt*

(No, not just because of Pennsylvania. Also the Shipshewana area in Indiana)

P'ter Aug 15 2017 04:20 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a Penrosian Pentagonal patterned quilt.

*Inserts a hand-embroidered djibbah.*

Kugai Aug 15 2017 08:21 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes the Host of Project Runway to critique it


*Inserts a pair of leather gloves*

P'ter Aug 16 2017 04:38 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges Mister Toad at the wheel of an Armstrong-Whitworth. They drive off into the sunset with Toad's cry of "Poop! Poop!" lingering amidst the dust cloud.

*Inserts a wash-board.*

Kugai Aug 16 2017 07:16 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Hogsnort Rupert Original Flagon Band emerges and plays a melody of hits before reentering the machine.


*Inserts a Theremin*

vyon Aug 17 2017 08:02 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It re-emerges in a normally quiet city park along with the entire cast of the original Star Trek and a cardboard set of the starship Enterprise.

Inserts a Chapman Stick.

P'ter Aug 17 2017 04:31 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers an early English peddler with his pack of goods and a walking stick. He wanders off into the distance.

*Inserts an eolian harp.*

Kugai Aug 17 2017 07:18 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps Mr Spock playing a jaunty tune


*Inserts an Electric Guitar*

P'ter Aug 18 2017 04:27 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There's a brilliant flash, and the machine dumps out the body of a guitarist.

(This actually happened at the first rock concert to be held at the Royal Festival Hall in London. The Electricians Union refused to allow the group to plug in their own equipment: closed shop ageement. Some idiot electrician didn't realise that electric guitars are plugged in to amplifiers, so he changed the jackplug on the free end of the lead to a 30amp 3-pin plug and stuffed it into a socket. The group came on stage to do a sound check and rehearse: the guitarist picked up his instrument and received the full 240 volt/30 amp current. The 'hearse' part of 'rehearse' was highly appropriate.)

*Inserts a pair of wire brushes.*

Kugai Aug 18 2017 07:06 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Mr Myagi emerges to give you lessons in using them.

*Inserts a ticket to Okinawa*

Dragon Fan Aug 19 2017 01:01 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine blinks out........................................Returns covered with Bamboo leaves and palm fronds.

Cleans up and inserts the palm fronds and Bamboo.

Kugai Aug 19 2017 08:32 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Machine disgorges a Mojito and a Jamaican Band


*Inserts a picture of Che Guevara*


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