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-   -   Game: The Universal Vending Machine (http://forums.srellim.org/showthread.php?t=8488)

Kugai May 3 2017 08:37 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
out comes an enraged fan swearing like a Dock Worker.



*Inserts a Belaying Pin*

P'ter May 4 2017 02:48 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a huge tangle of rope and, in a really bad imitation of Captain Jack Sparrow, tells you to "sort it out yourself."

*Inserts a rowlock.*

Kugai May 4 2017 08:05 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Centurion with a whip and snarls at you "Go back to your Oar fortyone."


*Inserts a Roman Chariot*

Dragon Fan May 4 2017 10:52 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out rides a knight that says knee

Inserts a barn swallow!

P'ter May 5 2017 06:02 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine 'swiftly' expels a sand martin.

*Inserts Darrow's goose-egg.*

Kugai May 5 2017 08:07 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes Dai Op Owen frowning at the readings it's given off


*Inserts a model Helijet*

P'ter May 7 2017 02:22 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
With much difficulty the machine delivers one of Heinlein's martian ornithopters.

*Inserts a parachute*

vyon May 7 2017 08:12 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
A small hot air balloon comes out.

Inserts a video-recording of a dog dancing around on its hind legs barking while the balloon floats above with two men in the basket teasing it.

Kugai May 8 2017 01:42 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out floats the Hindenburg with the Dog at the controls.



*Inserts a fire hose*

P'ter May 8 2017 06:19 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops Fireman Sam who waves cheerily before disappearing in a flash of flame and a puff of smoke.

*Inserts an empty tool-box.

Kugai May 8 2017 08:31 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps the Sidchrome Man who hands it back full of tools


*Inserts a trolley jack*

P'ter May 9 2017 04:21 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine slowly levitates . . . . . and then drops noisily to the ground.

*Inserts various detached bits of machine.*

Dragon Fan May 9 2017 06:19 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out drifts smoke spelling S.O. S.


Inserts a life preserver

Kugai May 9 2017 10:11 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a very grateful looking Jack Dawson :D



*Inserts a pair of binoculars*

P'ter May 10 2017 02:20 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine turns itself around to face a housing estate.

*After a bit, a cop turns up and inserts a warrant for voyeurism.*

Kugai May 10 2017 07:39 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a Lawyer in a cheap blue suit and a toothy smile


*Inserts a Naugahide Briefcase*

Dragon Fan May 11 2017 10:35 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out falls a pair of briefs

" Inserts a pair of blue jeans "

P'ter May 11 2017 03:35 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There's the sound of running water; followed by "I Heard It On The Grapevine".

*Inserts a packet of washing powder.

Kugai May 11 2017 07:08 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine disgorges a pair of clean Jeans neatly folded and sealed in a plastic bag




*Inserts a Service Manual for a IS-2 Tank*

P'ter May 12 2017 02:39 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine spits it back out: it can't read Russian.


*Inserts a half-completed Kakuro puzzle.*

Kugai May 12 2017 08:21 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It ejects it complete and gives you a 5000 piece Jigsaw Puzzle of the night sky for you to have a go at


*inserts a Jumbo Crossword Puzzle Book*

P'ter May 14 2017 03:19 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
I'm sure I posted this yesterday! :(

The machine delivers a puzzled elephant trumpeting cross words.

*Inserts a pencil stub.*

Kugai May 14 2017 07:46 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps a harassed looking Army Clerk writing furiously



*Inserts a full Ammo Box*

Dragon Fan May 14 2017 07:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After many bangs, Thumps, and grinding noises, out falls a Universal Vending Machine repair manual.

" Inserts a hammer "

P'ter May 15 2017 10:09 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes a membership card for the "Three Hammers Golf Club".

*Inserts a picture of Donald Trump.*

Kugai May 15 2017 09:50 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is a loud grinding, shreaking noise then smoke and flames erupt form the machine and it melts into a pile of gooey slag

repaces machine and *Inserts a picture of T'Pol*

P'ter May 16 2017 02:40 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Unfortunately, what is delivered is Dr. Phlox.

*Inserts a programme of the premier of Handel's Messiah.*

Kugai May 16 2017 09:04 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes the Messiah carrying four candles. :D


*Inserts a pair of glasses*

Dragon Fan May 16 2017 10:14 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
out comes a picture of Robinson Crusoe

" Inserts a picture of a Boat"

P'ter May 17 2017 02:44 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers a very disheveled Ancient Mariner, complete with albatross.

*Inserts a wedding dress.*

Dragon Fan May 17 2017 10:06 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out falls a wilted flower

" inserts a broken door knob"

Kugai May 17 2017 10:13 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out steps some Alan Davis desperately asking to use your toilet :-D


*Inserts a bottle of Handwash*

P'ter May 18 2017 04:18 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
After an interval filled, if not overflowing, with noises of running water and emerging bubbles, the machine ejects Dr. Hans Clean.

http://www.royalwolverhampton.nhs.uk...ew-cross-code/

*Inserts a ducat.*

Kugai May 18 2017 08:24 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out pops Londo Mollari who hands you a bottle of Brivari, yells "VALTOOOOOO!!!!" and dives back into the machine.

*Inserts a Swedish Meatbalj*

P'ter May 19 2017 02:33 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine delivers an Ikea flat-pack dining set.

*Inserts a rasher of streaky bacon.*

vyon May 19 2017 08:17 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
It comes out artfully arranged on a plate with a couple of poached eggs, three fried mushrooms, a sliced, seared tomato and a hash brown.

Inserts the empty plate - unwashed.

Kugai May 19 2017 07:42 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
There is the sound of running water, a few soap bubbles float out the the plate is disgorged squeaky clean and encased in shrink wrap plastic.


*Inserts a large, empty Coffee Mug(

P'ter May 20 2017 02:43 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
The machine speedily delivers an grandisimo skinny latte . . . so fast it spills down your trousers.

*Inserts an injunction for personal damages.*

Kugai May 20 2017 08:00 PM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out come Judge Judy who scowls at you and awards Damages anyway


*Inserts a Statuette of Justice*

P'ter May 21 2017 03:05 AM

Re: The Universal Vending Machine
 
Out comes full-size justice. Unfortunately she's upside down with her robes in disarray. Her scales wrap themselves round your neck, and her sword smacks you on your backside: luckily flat side first!

*Inserts card with "HELP!" written in large capitals.*


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